Lily and James
by Hopeless23
Summary: A James and Lily story with as many original characters as I could manage. Read if you like, please review! Usual disclaimers apply. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Lily Evans looked at James Potter, who was sitting across the table from her in the Great Hall. It was a couple of days until Christmas break, seventh year, and Lily couldn't think for a minute that this was actually the James Potter that she had been going to school with for the last 6 years. She was still completely shocked that he has been made Head Boy. (What was Dumbledore thinking?) But she had to admit that he was handling himself extremely... dignified. And Modestly. Who would have thought in a million years that Lily Evans would call James Potter modest?

Lily choked on her pumpkin juice.

Mary Macdonald, Lily's best friend began hitting her back. "You okay Lils?"

She nodded meekly, what was the world coming to? And here she was sitting with the Marauders, eating breakfast. Peacefully. Was this some sort of alternate universe?

"Oh. My. God." Bertha Jorkins plopped down next to Lily, grabbing the attention of many surrounding students. A couple of Ravenclaws even looked over from the next table to the younger girl.

The fifth year grabbed a muffin and continued. "You are not going to believe what I just heard in the loo."

"What?" Mary asked, placing the Daily Prophet down, the head line reading of the latest attack. Gossip, in these times just seemed to help people forget certain things.

"So I'm in the loo, clearly minding my own business-"

"Clearly." Sirius Black, ladies and gentlemen.

" – and I hear these sixth year Slytherins-"

"Ew."

"Black, we're trying to listen!"

"Sorry Macdonald."

"-talking about how, and get this, Dolohov-"

"Ew." This earned Sirius a hit from Mary and a small smile from Lily.

" -and Violetta Roiser," Bertha sent Sirius a pointed look. "broke up!"

"No way!" Dorcas Meadowes from the Ravenclaw table came over and sat next to Remus. "No freaking way!"

"Did I hear correctly? The beautiful Miss. Roiser is single and on the re-bound?" Joked Gideon Prewett, the Ravenclaw keeper, from the next table.

"This is definitely an alternate universe." Lily muttered under her breathe.

"I know!" Jorkins breathed to Dorcas. "Can you believe that? How long have they been dating for? Like, since I've been here I'm sure."

"I'd say that seems about right." Remus Lupin said, as he glanced over to the Slytherin table. There was Violetta, alone and reading. Actually there seemed to be a bit of perimeter around her, as if anyone got to close they would catch whatever contagious disease she was carrying. There was also Dolohov, with his usual cronies at the other end of the table. As Lily's eyes fell on Severus she shook her head slightly and looked back over to Violetta.

"And that's not even it!"

"God. There's more? Is that humanly possible?" James sarcastically questioned. Apparently he didn't find the gossip as interesting. He grabbed the paper from across the table.

A smiled played on Lily's lips as she looked at the prefect. Bertha shot him a look.

"Word is, she's pregnant and he wants nothing to do with her, which would be totally typical of Antonin, creep. Her parents can't even look at her; they called her a slut and booted her out. I hear she's completely crushed, won't even talk to anyone and apparently is trying to get out of the Slytherin dormitory."

"Can you blame her? You couldn't pay me a million Gallons to share a room with Bellatrix." Sirius said.

"Harsh.." Dorcas chuckled.

"And very true." Sirius sighed.

"So she got chucked out, no more inheritance or vacation home in Greece for her, the family never wants to see her again." Bertha continued.

Sirius looked over his shoulder at the girl. "Now, common. Let's be realistic about that. You heard this all from a bunch of sixth year, gossipy Slytherins. Look at the sources." He sent a pointed look back at the Bertha.

"This is extremely true, we shouldn't jump to insane conclusions." Remus said wisely.

"And, common. Think logically. All those losers care about is blood. As long as it's pure, I really don't think they'd have a problem with the whole thing." Sirius reasoned out.

He looked over at the girl again. Lily noticed that they definitely weren't the only ones looking. Word travelled at amazing speeds in Hogwarts and it appeared as though the entire school had heard about how Antonin Dolohov knocked up and then broke the beautiful Violetta Roiser's heart.

The small blonde girl was just plan gorgeous. Everyone always says how pretty she is, how she gets by on good looks. 'A smile worth a thousand homework assignments'. But she's also good at... uhm.. she's a really pretty girl.

"So what are you going to do?" Jorkins looked at Sirius.

"What are you talking about" She raised her eyebrows at him.

"Ooookay... whatever. Sure, nothing going on there, no history or anything. I have to get to Potions." As she walked away the group rose together and began to walk to DADA.

The boys quickly fell behind, not very interested in the far-out gossip.

"Can you believe we sat together?! Again?! During a complete meal?!" James whispered quickly to Sirius as the two fell even farther behind the group. His eyes found the back of Lily's head and his smile was contagious.

"Honestly? No." Sirius laughed.

"... she's got more substance than people think, she definitely has more than all of those Slytherins put together actually." Dorcas was continuing the discussion about Roiser and Dolohov.

"I wouldn't call us friends but me and Violetta have talked too, which is more then I can say for any of those other douches. She doesn't have that attitude about her. You know? The one that screams 'I'm-in-Slytherin-and-think-I'm-better-than-everyone-else-in-the-whole-world-and-I'm-going -to-talk-about-it-in-front-of-you-until-you-want-to-kill-me-because-my-blood-is-'pure'-and-did-I-also-mention-I'm-in-Slytherin-and-better-then-you?' attitude." Mary replied.

"Yeah, that is true." Lily considered Mary's point. She had never thought about it, but Violetta was they only, and yes only, Slytherin in their year who had never insulted her. "But it's not really our business anyways."

"You know what our business is?" Dorcas wiggled her eyebrows at Lily, "Whaaaaaat is going on with you and Potter, because personally I'm dying to know, and word on the street is that there is no word on the street. And this is Hogwarts. No one's business is just their own. Spill"

"What? There isn't anything going on." Lily look surprised at Meadowes.

"Yeah sure... that's what they all say." Dorcas laughed as they walked into their first class with Lily looking confused behind them.

"I'm not kidding Meadowes. There isn't anything." Lily stopped in front of Dorcas' desk as she slide into her usual spot. Lily needed to stop the rumour mill before it began.

"Yeah, okay, so is that why you guys can sit next to each other now? And talk? Civilly?"

"Friends do that do they not? Last time I checked you and me weren't an item."

"Oh Lily, our day well come," Dorcas winked at her as Sirius did a double check. "But that is neither here nor there."

"Wait a minute, I would definitely like that to be here." Sirius grinned.

"And you guys are friends now? Wow, that is an interesting development." Dorcas laughed over Sirius.

"Sit down Black. Just don't go spreading anything Meadowes. If I hear anything..." Lily gave her a look as she walked away.

"Aye Aye Miss. Evans." She saluted her as Lily walked over to sit next to Mary. The seats next to Dorcas quickly filled with boys. More and more boys continued to file into the class.

"Ravenclaws. Are. So. Hot." Mary whispered to Lily as she watched the boys sit down. Ravenclaw had 15 seventh years, 14 of which were boys, one of which was Dorcas.

"If I've said it once, I've said it a million times. Dorcas is sooo lucky. I mean look at his ass. It is perfect. Perfect! God.. I could stare all day." She was talking about Gideon Prewett as he sat next to Dorcas, laughing at something she said.

"I couldn't help but over-hear you talking about my amazing good looks. You know Macdonald, I've always said you and me would be good together." Sirius Black leaned forward to joke into Mary's ear.

"Oh god Black. Shut up." She giggled as a small smile played on her lips, and a small blush formed on her checks. Lily grinned and turned to listen to yet another new DADA teacher.

"So today class-" The professor was interrupted when the one and only Violetta Roiser walked into class. The class, which was chatting despite the beginning of class fell completely silent and watched her walk in.

"Sorry I am late."

"That's what she told Dolohov." Bellatrix Black spoke it, clear as day. It seemed to hang in the air. Lily let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding. Holy crap. This girl was pure evil. Violetta wasn't even fazed. Without replying she walked over and occupied the only free seat left, next to Remus Lupin.

Lily looked over to Bellatrix, who had a confident, victorious smile on her face. Many of her fellow Slytherins were grinning at each other.

"It's... fine." The professor tried to recover after the obviously inappropriate comment. "So today class we will be covering.."

Remus tried to casually glance over to the girl beside him. Great, he thought, he had almost failed Muggle Studies because she had sat next to him in that class. He could not concentrate beside her; it was kind of embarrassing for him. Remus Lupin did not get crushes. He wouldn't allow it. He saw her hands were shaking slightly as she held her quill. Her eyes were narrow. He didn't want to know what she was imagining she was doing to Bellatrix.

"So Lily," James fell into step beside the love of his life as they walked out of class. "I was wondering..."

"Yes James?" She was irritated, he knew that tone oh-so well.

"Dinner? Please? Once?"

"No!" She sped away, purposely not making eye contact with Dorcas Meadowes who just happened to be stopped talking to Emmeline Vance. God damn Potter and his timing. It wasn't exactly a new thing, to see James Potter ask out Lily Evans, but it was another when she blushed and ran away.

"Man it never gets old. Actually, that's a complete lie. I'm tired of seeing this rejection day after day. It can hurt a guy's spirit." Sirius fell into step beside James.

"Shut up Padfoot, nothing could ruin your spirit and you know it." Sirius laughed as James tried to joke back with him. But his humour couldn't reach his eyes. "So, how about Violetta though?" There was a pause and James continued. "You knew I was going to ask about it."

"Do we have to talk about it?" Sirius sighed back.

"No, I guess not." James replied. "Let's go eat." The two boys sped up to catch up to Remus and Peter who were walking slightly ahead.

Supper appeared to be the same as breakfast, except worse. Everyone was staring at Violetta Roiser. Lily didn't know how a person could handle that much negative attention. She herself would have snapped hours ago. As Lily walked into the Great Hall all she could hear were more and more outrageous rumours. It was getting pretty crazy. Apparently it was confirmed by her lack of a reaction in DADA that she actually was pregnant, not that anyone ever doubted it, you could clearly see her baby stomach from here. And apparently Dolohov didn't even think it was his. It was okay though, because Violetta was going to give the baby to the Malfoy's who had agreed to raise it. Apparently they were having a lot of trouble conceiving.

"Like really," She hit down her book bag as she sat down. "This is getting crazy."

"I know. I feel really bad for her, like, it's getting outrageous." Mary agreed with her and looked over at the girl who sat completely alone still reading, with the same perimeter. "Someone needs to do something."

"Er- like what?" Peter said from beside James.

Lily stood up. She wasn't completely sure what she was going to do. She didn't know the girl at all. Where her friends had a least spoken in a class to her, the most interaction Lily had with Violetta was one time she helped Lily pick up her books, in something like second year.

Lily marched over to the Slytherin table confidently, she was in Gryffindor and Head Girl; she could do this, easily. She took the long way, making a scene of passing by Snape and his friends, including Dolohov, Avery, Mulciber, and Bellatrix herself. Lily could feel the eyes of everyone in the Great Hall on her, and the chatter that had been happening died away, leaving a wake of silence. She walked along the wall and sat down next to Violetta. Violetta looked up from her book at Lily. She had a surprised expression on her face and Lily wasn't quite sure what do with herself either.

Lily picked up a muffin. "Hello." Awkward... look what she had gotten herself into. She put the muffin down, not trusting it to be safe to eat coming from this table. She picked it up again. "I hate blueberries." Lily put the muffin down again.

"You can't even be sure those are blueberries, this is the Slytherin table," Roiser looked her with a small smile on her face. "And it's in my designated area. I mean look at those first years," She pointed down the table. "They're actually sitting on each other to prevent themselves from getting to close. Can you believe that?"

"Not really. Want to come and sit with us? At our table?" Lily offered. "I've never gotten sick off of anything over there, except for James Potter's supposed charm, but if you're willing to risk that.."

Violetta laughed. Lily smiled back. "I heard a rumour that Gryffindor's bite." It was Lily's turn to laugh at that. Violetta lowered her voice. "Honestly Lily," The use of her first name surprised her. "I would love to come sit with you guys, but it's a pride thing. I need to stay here. Maybe another time."

Lily nodded. She didn't completely understand, but she got the general idea. A shadow passed over them and the two girls looked up. Antonin Dolohov stood hovering over them, with the others standing slightly behind.

He didn't look at Lily, but there was a look on his face, like he was disgusted to be in her presence. Lily easily mirrored the look on her face.

"Violetta."

"Yes?" Violetta barely asked, her voice not louder than a whisper. Lily wasn't even sure if Dolohov had heard her as she turned back around and continuing to sip on the soup in front of her. Lily didn't want to turn her back to the evilest people in school, but she also didn't want to keep looking up at them either. She could get up and walk away, but that would show weakness, and she sure as hell wasn't about to do that. After a look at Snape, she turned around.

"So this is the company you're planning on keeping now?"

Violetta's eyes were closed, as if she were trying to calm herself down.

Dolohov lowered his voice and continued with a harsh whisper. "It's bad enough that you insist on being here, disgusting us, while we try to enjoy our meals, but to allow her filth is-"

Violetta stood up, making a screeching noise with the sound of her chair on the floor. The other student's attention was immediately pulled back to the Slytherin table.

Lily couldn't help but wonder how she always seemed to get involved in things that had nothing to do with her all the time.

She stood beside Violetta and her hand moved into her robes and tightened on her wand.

"Wow Antonin, that was quick, giving up already? I cannot blame you, I am unimpressed with your battle tactic," Her voice wasn't more than a whisper, but Lily knew that Dolohov and his friends could hear it, crystal clear. "It is quite boring. I really would have thought you could come up with something more creative than my being pregnant. I mean getting dumped must have hurt your ego, but really.. this is just below you. Bellatrix maybe, but you..?"

Bellatrix stepped out from behind Dolohov, her anger clear. "You little slu-"

"Miss. Black, Miss. Roiser. Please refrain from making a scene in my Great Hall." Dumbledore was standing at the staff table. "Thank you." He finished after a silence. Bellatrix was standing so close to Violetta, Lily was sure if she moved her head to either direction their noses would touch. Her chest was heaving, apparently she was quite worked up. "Please continue on your way, I trust you were heading back to your common room Miss. Black?"

They turned to walk away.

"Wait. Before you go," Violleta made the group stop in their tracks, her voice now louder than before. Lily was sure this time everyone could hear. "When you started the rumour Bella, did you pull on personal experience? I heard some things about you and Lucius before your sister made an honest man of-"

Dumbledore summoned a protective shield charm in-between the two girls. If he had been a split second later, Violetta probably would have been in the hospital wing for a week.

"Miss. Roiser, my office. Miss. Black, join us." Dumbledore swept out of the Great Hall, his cloak flowing behind him.

Violetta flashed a smile at Lily before resetting her face to a solemn one, with regret. Lily couldn't help but grin as she walked back to her friends at the Gryffindor table.

"That was intense." James was sitting next to Lily in the Gryffindor common room. She was still in felt exhilarated about the happenings in the Great Hall, even though she wasn't directly involved, it had definitely been an adrenaline rush. She wasn't fazed that she was in fact sharing a couch with James Potter.

"I know. I can't believe.. she's pretty much my hero." Mary joked from the ground. She was sitting next to Black, playing chess on the floor.

James was looking at Lily. As exciting as the events were in the Great Hall, he still couldn't forget about his goal for the year. It was the same as usual, win Lily's heart. But the thing was, this year was his last year. After this, if she still hated him at graduation, he would lose her forever. He shuddered.

"You okay James?" Remus asked.

"Yeah, just... thinking." What he needed was a plan. Something fool-proof. Remus had started him on the right path, he was sure. Stop showing off and bragging about everything. It had proven to have some sort of positive effect; here she was, sitting with him. But now he needed to move past the friend stage. She said no to his date. He was dying, being this close to her, but not being able to hold her, touch her.

"So... Black. What was Bertha talking about this morning? You and Violetta have a history?" Mary attempted to causally question.

She had a crush on him okay! So what! She shot for the stars. So what if she might not have a chance with the famous womanizer Sirius Black! She wanted the best; her dad always said his baby wasn't going to settle. So what if she wanted to know about his history with the newly single best looking girl in their year. Cut her some slack, he was gorgeous.

"Er- nothing. No history there."

"Wow. I'm totally convinced. You mentioned you're planning on being an Auror, right? Well I totally think you'll, like, be the best at the lying part." She huffed away and up the girl's dormitory stairs.

"Wow, what's her problem?" Sirius asked from the floor. "We were in the middle of a game!"

No one was listening though. Remus had stopped reading his book when he heard Mary ask the question. Violetta's name had the power to pull him out of any book trance, but now he was back into it. Lily and James were playing a game. He had decided to teach her how to play the hand slapping game. He could no longer go without touching her. He was completely dumb-founded that she had never heard of it before. He placed his hands out in front of her palm up. She placed hers on his, almost touching, but not quite. It killed him, but he explained about how she had to move her hands before he could hit hers.

It was really unfair, him being an, quote, 'amazing quidditch player', and her, well, not. He had amazing reflexes. He finally let her win one, where she proceeded to do a victory lap around the common room before collapsing next to him on the couch. Her smile was infectious and he was grinning at her when her it suddenly faded.

"You Ass! You let me win!" She hit him on the shoulder, hard. It was amazing such a small girl could hit so hard.

"Ah! Watch it Evans! That's going to bruise." He rubbed his shoulder. She smiled at him.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight." She got up and walked up to her dormitory.

"Do you believe that?! Was that flirting?! Dare I say it?" James was ecstatic.

"Common Prongs, I think we should go to bed too." Remus stood and led the Marauders up to bed.

"What an amazing day..." James whispered as he fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"So Dorcas, how's the team looking this year?" James casually questioned her on the way down to Potions. Dorcas was the seeker for the Ravenclaws, the only girl on the team.

"Back off, Potter. You aren't getting any information out of me. How's your team looking? I hear you're hurting for a beater since Longbottom graduated last year."

"Shouldn't be hard to find, obviously no one is going to be quite as good, but it's just one position." James offered, hoping to gain some information back.

"Want to know what I heard?" She didn't wait for his answer, she was sure he wasn't opposed to gossip about Quidditch teams. "Ravenclaw's going to win this year. For sure. Hands down. Gryffindor doesn't even have a chance." She laughed and shoved him over as they continued to walk. "God James, if you cared as much about Quidditch as Miss Evans over there you would have won her by now."

"If I had to sacrifice winning the Quidditch cup or being with Lily, I'd never sit on a broom again." He sighed. Dorcas looked at him surprised.

"Those are big words , Potter."

"Yeah, and they're true." He passed her and sat in the back row. The thing was those were big words, and the other thing was, Dorcas believed him.

"Mission, if you chose to accept it." Dorcas had pulled Mary aside after class as Lily stood joking with Slughorn. "Potter. Evans. Together."

"Yeah, because I haven't been trying mission impossible for like, ages now." Mary laughed.

"This time it's different. We have each other. And multiple people I can use for my bidding." Dorcas looked determined. Mary was slightly impressed.

"Hey, I'm not going to like, not try. I would die a happy girl if those two fell in love. How romantic would that be?" She sighed, and got a far off look in her eye.

"Look alive Macdonald. We need to stay grounded here." She snapped her fingers in front of Mary's eyes pulling the girl out from her dream world.

"I'm just saying, if it works out for them, it just... it goes to show you love still is out there. We need this. I think the whole school needs this. Just like a ray of hope. A love, strong enough to show us how to love again." Mary sighed again.

"Oh god, Macdonald. You're going to make me gag. I just think, they'd be... they're just right for each other and that's all there is to it." Lily began walked to the two girls. "We'll discuss later." Dorcas flagged down Prewett as he went to leave class and began walking with him to the Great Hall.

"What were you and Dorcas discussing?" Lily questioned her friend.

Ah. The eyes. Don't look at the eyes. Mary couldn't lie to those. "Nothing, just... okay. So it's extremely embarrassing. You can't tell anyone." She looked over her shoulder. "Okay, just... don't laugh. I'm registering her help to make Sirius Black love me." She rushed the last part, inspiration hit as the two girls walked by a broom closet. Every time she walked by a broom closet she just couldn't help thinking about Black. It was like a disease. "It's like a disease." Lily laughed.

"If it's meant to happen, it'll happen, especially if you work hard enough." The two girls laughed together. Mary couldn't have said it better herself.

"Where is Peter?" James questioned, looking around the Hall for his friend.

"Here he comes." Lupin pointed toward the door where a large group of people emerged, Peter in the middle of the mass. Peter hadn't made it into seventh year Potions, it was a slight relief considering he was a bit of a liability.

"We missed you in Potions mate." James grinned at his small friend as he clamped a hand on his shoulder.

Remus' eyes found the small blonde that just walked into the Great Hall, and he wondered what her punishment had been for that comment last night. He definitely wouldn't want to share a room with his arch nemesis. Lily sat down next to him, with Mary next to her.

"I heard she got a year's worth of detention." A loud whisper travelled over to them from down the table, where Bertha Jorkins was chatting loudly to some other Hufflepuffs. "And Bellatrix Black shaved her head while she slept last night, that's totally a wig."

Violetta stood for an awkward moment at the doors. With a determined look on her face, she went to sit at the Slytherin table when a loud, projectile, voice sounded over the chaos of the Great Hall.

"Oi! Roiser! Saved you a spot!" Dorcas Meadowes was waving her arms like a nut job. Violetta smiled and walked over to the Ravenclaw table. "Welcome to the good side." Violetta laughed and sat in between Dorcas and Gideon.

"So Lily, I was wondering if you could help me with our potions essay?" James asked, ever so casually. Lily raised her eyebrows as Sirius chocked on his pumpkin juice.

"Is that a serious question?" Lily asked as she wiped pumpkin juice off of her hand.

"You want help with homework?" Sirius coughed, still regaining the use of his lungs. "You're doing homework?"

Remus grinned and lowered his face to his plate.

"Yeah, look I've been thinking... I need to get my marks up and..." He trailed off, seeing the look his friends were giving him. "Never mind.." He muttered and looked down.

"No James," He looked up at the use of his first name. "I'd love to help you." She looked at Sirius pointedly. "Tonight? After supper. Meet me in the library."

"Does this mean I don't have to come any more?" Mary looked up hopefully.

"I was never forcing you to do anything. If you don't think that the potions essay is important..." Her disapproval was clearly heard.

"Awesome! Now I can paint my nails tonight. God. Just look at them, I can't believe I go out in public with this chipped mess. Thanks Potter, I owe you one." She grinned and stood.

"Where are you going? We have Charms soon." Lily questioned.

"Just need to speak with Dorcas. No worries. Don't leave without me." She walked over to the Ravenclaw table and situated herself across from Dorcas. Lily was looking at the back of Mary's head with a confused look on her face that was until she was pulled into a conversation with Remus.

"So, the plan-e-o is a go." Mary winked at Dorcas as she sat down.

"Details?" Dorcas asked casually.

"They're working on potions together in the library. I can see it now, love blooming over potions books in the quiet setting, shoulders touching, hands reaching for the same book. A causal flirt here, something there. They'll be in love in an instant. It's fate."

Dorcas rolled her eyes.

"You are quite the romantic Mary." Violetta smiled at her.

"It's a disease." She sighed. "But love is in the little things, and I think this is a really great start."

"Right you are Macdonald! I guess we can't exactly assume that they're going to start shagging right here in the Great Hall. Homework together is an amazing start. Charms anyone?" The group stood and began walking out, Lily joining up with the three other girls on their way.

"So Violetta, I heard there is a bit of history with you and Sirius Black." It wasn't a question, Mary made it more like a statement.

"Er-." Violetta looked at her questioningly. Lily and Dorcas fell silent.

"I was just wondering. I'm sure you weren't aware or anything, but I'm like, pretty much completely in love with him."

"Er-."

"So I was just wondering, now that your single and everything, are you planning on like, getting back with, you know, him?"

"Oh wow." Realization dawning on Violetta's face. "No. No way. What me and Black had... wow. No." She looked at Mary. "I am not planning on anything like that."

Mary looked at her and smiled. "Brilliant." Violetta smiled back.

"I know you probably do not care, considering he is the love of your life and everything," Violetta lowered her voice as the four girls sat together in charms, something never seen before. "But I think you could do a heck of a lot better than him. No offence or anything, but I have heard that he has become a bit of a play boy."

"That's putting it nicely." Dorcas muttered under her breath.

"Yeah, but I think, and this is probably just me, being a crazy love sick girl and everything, but I think if he found the right girl-"

"He will change? I have seen many girls think that, not just with Black, but other, worse guys. They get pulled into something... something they do not deserve. You are a pretty swell girl Macdonald and it is only a matter of time before he will realize that too, but just watch what you let yourself get pulled into." Violetta fell silent as Flitwick stood up to begin class.

Violetta looked down at a note Mary slide under her and a smile formed on her face.

You think I'm swell? Okay Mom. –M.M.

Cut me some slack. Look at where I came from. –V.R.

It's true, you really can't judge her. –D.M.

Ever wondered why Sirius swears so much? I think every time he does it, it feels like he spites his mom or something. –L.E.

Deep. You're so insightful Lil. –M.M.

I don't know if I'd say that, all I know is a true lady never cuss's. –V.R.

And people say you're not smart –D.M.

Hey! Is that-

"Ladies, that better not be a note."

"Sorry Professor." They chorused.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Wow. I'm really impressed Vi." Bellatrix spoke from her bed.

"God Bella, it seems like recently you are very easily impressed, now what did I do this time?" Violetta threw her books on her bed and plopped down next to them.

Bellatrix rose and pierced the other girl with her glare. "New friends already? You're look very chummy with those mudbloods."

Violetta rolled her eyes as she began pulling out her homework. "Oh Bella. Language."

"Don't give me that. I can't believe you- your mother is going to-"

"What? Freak out? Shocking. I never would have thought MY mother would be able to loss her temper. It is not like that's never happened before. However am I going to manage the guilt, the self loathing? I let my mother down... the shame." Violetta laughed. "Jeez Bella. My mother. That is where you start your argument?"

"Your brother-"

"Is a pig. And we are done this conversation. Right now. I need to do this homework."

"You think you can end a conversation? Get over your-"

"Okay, fine. I am gone. The library is calling my name." She stood and began to walk out as Bella's angry string of swear words followed her out.

"You don't even know where the library is Roiser!" Bella screamed down the stairs at her.

Now sadly, this was true. After seven years of being at Hogwarts, Violetta couldn't help but feel the education system had let her down. She should at least know where the god damn library was. After aimlessly wondering around for about 20 minutes, her eye was caught by some second year Ravenclaw boys. Now if these kids weren't going to the library she'd eat her potions text book.

"Damn." She whispered under her breath. She was pretty sure they caught on that she was following them. They ran into the boy's loo. Didn't count! They were probably going to the library before they got scared off, her potions next book would remain fully intact. She turned on her heal and around a corner, right into Gideon Prewett. He was holding his broom, but still managed to steady her before she fell.

"Sorry." He grinned at her. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, I am just heading to the library."

"You're going to the library?" If his eyebrows were any higher they would have been part of his hair.

"Yes. I am not stupid okay. I do not... God. Everyone around here thinks I am stupid. I am not!" She huffed at him.

"I never said that! I've just never seen you in there, and... wait. Why are you around here then?" He looked around the entrance hall at her suspiciously. "You have been to the library before? Right?"

"Yes! Of course I have been there before." Which she had. Once. To snog Sirius. There was a slim chance that Dolohov would have caught the two of them there, he wasn't exactly a library user either. Where Violetta got by on good looks, Antonin got by with intimidation. He's probably done less actually homework assignments then Roiser, and that was saying something.

"To do homework?" He laughed after a silence.

"God. Embarrassing." She muttered and looked down. "I do not remember how to get there." She whispered and he wasn't completely sure he heard her correctly.

"I'll show you." He smiled at her. "I don't judge." He said after another moment of silence.

"I am not a whore either, okay?" She was looking anywhere but him. "I know what people say about me. If half those things were true..." She trailed off.

"I don't really listen to rumours. They seem to get slightly blown out of proportion around here."

"Slightly." She smiled at him.

"Here we are." He looked up at the library doors.

"Thanks, much appreciated." She didn't go in. "That is a nice broom."

"Thanks, I'm just heading out to get some flying in before supper, first practice tonight." She was looking at slightly longingly. "You fly?"

"No. I wish." She laughed. "My mother says its un-lady like to play sports. Can you believe that?"

"Last time I checked she didn't go to Hogwarts, you want to come with me?" She looked toward the library. "You can do some homework out there if you want."

She laughed and nodded, following him towards the grounds.

"Hey Remus," The pair met up with the lone Marauder in the hall way to the library. "Getting a head start on that Muggle Studies assignment?" She smiled at him. He died.

"Potions, then maybe." He looked at the two of them. See this is why he would never fall in love. He didn't think he would ever look as good with a girl as Gideon Prewett. Plus, being a monster wouldn't exactly have them lining up. "Were you two working on it?"

"I planned, and then changed my mind," Violetta laughed. God he loved her laugh. "We are heading outside. Would you like to come?"

"No, I better not." He sighed. Just go. She wants you to go! No she doesn't. Shut up.

"Okay, well let me know how it goes." She touched his shoulder with a smile as they walked by. He died again.

"See you." Gideon waved.

"Bye." Remus sighed.

Remus walked into the library and his eye was immediately caught by two girls peering through the shelves at an unsuspecting couple.

"Okay so Potter... James? Are you even listening to me?" Lily looked up into James' eyes. He was staring very intently at her. Mary and Dorcas hovered a couple of rows over, spying.

"This is going really well..." Dorcas hissed to Mary. "More like a waste of my time." She checked her watch.

"Stop checking your watch, it makes me have to go to the bathroom!" Mary hissed back.

"What?" Dorcas laughed.

"Sh!"

"Did you hear that?" Lily asked looking around.

"Wha- no. No I didn't hear anything." James replied, startled.

"Listen Potter, if you're not even going to listen to me.. I'm done wasting my time here." Lily began packing up her books.

"No Lily." He grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry, I promise I'll listen. It's just hard, being around you." He said it so sincere, in a way that made Lily blush and Mary awe. He didn't let go of her hand and she didn`t make him.

"What are you two doing?" Remus laughed from behind Mary and Dorcas.

Dorcas grabbed her heart and Mary gasped loudly.

"Frick! You gave me a heart attack Lupin!" Dorcas hissed at him.

``Yes. What are you two doing?" Lily asked from behind the two girls, she had finally decided to check out what all the hissing was about.

``Just grabbing this book! Obviously! God Lil. Why else would we be in the library? Didn`t even know you were here, oh right! With James, silly us." Mary improvised. ``Time to go though, I`d say! Got what we needed, didn`t we Dorcas!`` She linked arms with Dorcas and lead her away from Lily, who was standing with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised. "Later Remus!" Mary smiled as they ran out.

``Wow Mary, that was great! I don`t think she suspected anything!`` Dorcas laughed at the girl beside her. ``You are a master at stealth.``

``Thank you, thank you. I`m quite impressive on my feet, if I don`t say so myself.``

``I think you`ll be the only one saying that.`` Dorcas teased.

"Hello Ladies." Sirius Black emerged out of the shadows, with a cute sixth year Hufflepuff in tow.

"Later babe." He winked at her and she blushed.

"Bye." She giggled as she walked away.

"God Sirius. Are you allergic to commitment? I saw you with Rachel's best friend last week!" Dorcas shock her head.

"Her name's Rachel?" He scratched his head. Dorcas rolled her eyes. "Are you guys heading for supper? I'm starving."

"You're always hungry Sirius." Mary laughed. Dorcas rolled her eyes again. Sirius could commit murder in front of Mary and she would see no wrong.

"You two go ahead, I've got to.. go... away." Dorcas turned around and started walking in the opposite direction the Great Hall.

Sirius looked confused after the girl, but then Mary pulled his attention back to her.

"So you think the team's going to be good this year?" Mary made small talk. A good place to start with Sirius Black was Quidditch. Any Gryffindor team member could talk about Quidditch for ages. And she could listen to him forever. The two of them walked into the Great Hall together, and Mary, with her heighted sense of gossip could hear her name among the whispers. Sirius wasn't fazed, if he noticed anything he didn't say it. The two of them continued their conversation to the table, where they sat with Peter.

"Hey Pete." Sirius nodded at him.

"Hi. I'm actually just leaving." He stood. His eyes set in the distance, towards the door, where a large group of people were leaving the Great Hall. He grabbed his book bag. "See you later." He scurried after the group. Peter was having a hard time with seventh year. This year more than any other, he felt left out. James, who usually let him tag around after him was spending all of this time with Lily. Sirius was with any girl he could get and didn`t really appreciate Peter being around. Remus was moody, and always doing homework. Peter felt left out and vulnerable.

"Pettigrew." He whipped around at the sound of his name, he was looking around for the group that had just left. "Nice to see you're wanting to join us." Bellatrix's voice was cold. She looked at him sceptically. Why would this Marauder want to join them? He was friends, no best friends, with her blood-traitor of a cousin. She didn't trust him, and he was weak anyway. He disgusted her, but there was the undeniable fact of power in numbers. Whatever. She didn't really care to think too much about it.

Peter didn't say anything. He looked too scared to form words. Bellatrix rolled her eyes and motioned for him to follow the group away from the Great Hall and out towards the grounds. The door closed behind them as James, Remus and Lily came through another on their way to supper from the library. They walked in and sat with Sirius and Mary, James next to Lily. They laughed and chatted before dinner. James couldn't help stare at Lily, she was so beautiful when she laughed. When the food appeared, he reached past her for the potatoes and smelt her perfume. He pressed his hand on her back to steady himself. God she smelt good.

Lily felt her heart pick up when he touched her back. What? No, this was NOT happening. Lily Evans did NOT like James Potter. She wouldn`t. She couldn`t. This was not happening to her. Oh. My. God. She liked him touching her. She felt slightly nauseous. Hell just froze over.

``You okay Lily?`` Dorcas asked as she sat down next to the red head. ``You`re looking a little green.``

``Am I?" Lily grabbed her pumpkin juice. Great, people were noticing.

``Yeah, you don`t look to hot.`` James looking concerned put his hand to her forehead. She slapped it away.

``Thanks Potter.`` She said angrily and stood abruptly. He watched her huff out, confused.

``What just happened?`` He asked the table. Sirius shrugged at him.

``If I`ve said it once, I`ve said it a million times-`` Sirius was cut off.

``Just bad luck, Prongs.`` The remaining teenagers chorused.

``Exactly.`` Sirius drained his pumpkin juice.

So this is great, Lily thought as she stormed out of the Great Hall, she was hungry and she just left dinner in a dramatic fashion. Great. She knew the general area of the kitchens, and the general idea of how to get in. It was her only real option, either that or go back in the Great Hall and face Potter. To the kitchens! She quickened her pace as her stomach rumbled.

She turned another corner and headed down the stairs where her eye was caught by Violetta and Gideon Prewett chatting up ahead.

``Hey!`` Lily yelled at the two of them. They turned around and Gideon hit Violetta in the head with his broom he was resting on his shoulder.

"Ow!" She rubbed her head.

"Ah! Sorry!" He tried to hide the smile that formed on his face.

"You're laughing! You're terrible!" Violetta hit his shoulder. He looked at her slightly surprised, guess they were friends now? He smirked to himself again, a babe like Violetta actually flirting with him. He was good looking, but her? "What is going on Lily?" Violetta asked as Lily jogged up to them.

"You two wouldn't happen to be going to the kitchens?"

"Yeah, actually. I think it's going to be nice to have one meal without the hissing following me." Violetta laughed. "So Gideon suggested we head to the kitchens. I have never been."

"Can I join you guys? I had to escape... Er- leave, the Great Hall and I haven't had a chance to eat anything. I don't know where the kitchen is either." Lily laughed.

"The Head Girl is going to the kitchens? Isn't that against the rules?" Gideon raised his eyebrows at Lily. Silence followed. "I don't judge." He laughed.

"How was flying?" Lily changed the topic. She assumed that was where Gideon had been with his broom.

"Pretty good, Violetta was out there for a bit too." Gideon pushed Violetta gently to the side. Lily smiled to herself. She had this match maker thing, or so she liked to believe, and she could tell from a mile away that Gideon had a crush on Violetta.

"Yeah, I think I might try out for the Slytherin team. You know, stir things up a bit." Violetta laughed. "But actually, I am a mess on the broom. I shake terribly and the highest I reached was hovering probably a foot above the ground. And not going to lie, when Gideon made me go with him I was crying I was so scared, that high."

Lily laughed too, she knew that feeling. "I haven't flown since first year, when we have those flying lessons. I'm not a big fan of heights either."

"Disgraceful." Gideon muttered under his breath. "Quidditch is like the best game ever. I can't believe you two don't appreciate it."

"You sound just like James." Lil laughed.

"And I love watching Quidditch." Violetta defended.

"Key word there being watching." Lily laughed.

"Exactly." Violetta replied.

He rolled his eyes as they stopped in front of a fruit bowl. He tickled it and they walked into the kitchens.

"So how was studying with James, Lily?" Violetta questioned as they started to eat the small mountain of food that had been put in front of them.

"Ah, how do you know about that?" Lily moaned.

"Er-" Violetta looked at Gideon.

"No, it's not a big deal, it's just... complicated." Lily sighed. "I don't really want to talk about it."

Violetta smiled sympathetically at the other girl. "I understand." She patted Lily's hand. "It is okay." Violetta turned to Gideon. "What about you, any girlfriend drama?"

"I don't have drama with James!" Lily huffed, in her hyper-paranoid state.

"Sorry... Er-" Violetta started.

Lily sighed again and threw her head into her hands. Why did things need to be so complicated.

"Sorry Lily, I was not implying that or anything-" Violetta started.

"Yes. I know... I'm sorry... Over-reacted... Stressed..." Lily muttered from her hands. "With school work of course." She looked at them. "That's it obviously." She coughed awkwardly. "You know how that gets." Gideon had started eating again, but Violetta was looking at her questioningly.

"Lily, if you want to talk or anything..." Violetta had pulled her aside as the house elves loaded Gideon up with more food on their way out. "I am not in a hurry to get back to my dorm and-"

Lily shook her head. "Thanks, but I'm okay."

"Okay, well. Just so you know, I have had some issues myself. Just, if you need to talk. I am here."

"Thanks, I'll remember that." Lily smiled at Violetta.

The three teenagers walked back up towards the entrance hall, where they all split up to go toward their respected dormitories. Gideon had to get to Quidditch practice and Lily to her pile of homework. Violetta headed towards the dungeons, where she soon started to drag her heals. Stalling for as long as possible, stopping to look at paintings along the way she tried to kill as much time as she could. She leaned against the smooth stone wall that lead to the Slytherin common room. She sighed after checking her watch for the third time in two minutes. This was not working, time was not passing, she turned and was about to say the password when her arm was grabbed and she was pulled roughly around.

Dry, cracked lips crashed onto hers. She tried to push the bulky form off of her, but he held her arms firmly in place. While he kissed her he dragged her away from the wall and down the hall, toward an empty class room. Her back hit a desk and pain shot through her body. He finally pulled away and locked the door with his wand.

"Avery?!" She rubbed her back. He started toward her again. "Whoa there. What are you doing?"

He looked at her slightly confused. She mirrored the expression on her face. "We can be together now... You and Dolohov broke up? I thought..?"

"You thought what?" She was even more confused.

"You can't deny that we have passion..." Avery moved to kiss her again.

"What?! Yes I can-" His lips hit hers again. She tried to push him off of her, but his form was too big. Her back was digging into the desk and his kisses weren't hitting her lips anymore but all over her face.

"Stop it! Get off of me Avery!" His hands were everywhere. Tears were forming in her eyes. He moved his body back just a bit, but she took complete advantage of it and pulled out her wand. He stepped farther back and her hand shook as she held her wand out to his chest. "What are you thinking?!" She cried at him. She hit him in the middle of his chest with the body binding curse. "Alohomora!" Violetta screamed at the door and it flew open. Hysterical, she ran up over to the wall she had been leaning against just minutes ago and screamed the password at it too. A door formed and she ran all the way towards her dormitory, tears blurring her vision. Her room was mercifully empty, and she didn't stop to think where Bellatrix was. She threw everything she could determine was hers into her trunk. After shrinking it she sat down on her bed and tried to calm down. After a couple of deep breaths, she walked over to Bella's mirror and fixed her make-up. She left the dorm and ran back out of the common room. With a last look, she left and prayed silently to herself she would never have to go back in there.

"Think, think, think." She muttered to herself. "Where...?" She sighed and fell against a wall, sliding down slowly, could feel the bruise forming on her back already. "What am I going to do now!" Then inspiration hit, her fall back guy. The one person she could always count on. "Sirius Black." She whispered to herself. "Ah, but Mary Macdonald." She was rising, but then fell back down. She couldn't do that to Mary, she knew what Mary would think. Violetta's conscious surprised her. If it came down to it, she would have to go back on her word to Mary, but she figured she owed the girl at least a couple more minutes of brain storming before she completely sold her soul. She heard footsteps, but couldn't get up fast enough to move. Dorcas Meadowes was leading a group of boys towards her, in Quidditch robes.

"Hey Roiser. What are you doing?" Dorcas stood above her.

"I am.. well. Honestly. I'm contemplating where I am now going to live. I evicted myself." She sighed, and pulled her legs into her chest. She felt uncomfortable with the eyes of the boys on her.

"You evicted yourself?" Dorcas looked mildly impressed.

"Yeah, I could not take it anymore..." She sighed, still not making eye-contact with the other girl.

"Well! Come live with me then!" Dorcas exclaimed. "I've always had this secret desire to have a roommate. And we'll be the best of friends!" She joked. "This will be awesome! Common!"

"Er- Are you sure? You do not mind?" Violetta didn't even really know this girl. There was a huge difference between sitting with someone at dinner and living with them.

"At least for tonight, just see how it goes." Dorcas pulled her to her feet. "I'm not going to let you live here, in the hallway." Violetta smiled at her.

"Thanks. I appreciate this."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Word spread like wildfire about Dorcas' new roommate. The next morning when the mail came, it only added to the gossip frenzy.

"Oh brother. You should read the letter my mom sent me." Dorcas threw her letter down on the table. "I don't know how she knows that you're my new roommate so quickly. Swear to god she's got some sort of security set up in my dorm, watching me or something." Dorcas looked over her shoulder for good measure.

Violetta laughed. "What does it say?"

"Just to be careful who I trust.. yah-da-yah. Lame stuff like that." Dorcas saw Violetta's face fall. "Don't worry, I get one once a week. She's hyper anal. She had a complete tantrum when I told her I was going to be an Auror. 'It's not safe. Completely reckless choice. With your brains should be healer, blah blah.' She's such a spazz."

An owl came and landed in front of Violetta, dropping a blood red letter. "Great..." Violetta muttered. "This should be fun." She stood slightly and yelled across the Great Hall. "See Bella! Told you my mother would not over react!" She sat back down and opened her letter.

"YOU LITTLE SPOILED ROTTEN BRAT. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. YOU BROKE UP WITH DOLOHOV-"

"TOLD YOU!" A Gryffindor yelled over her mother to their friend, who began digging in his pockets for the money he owed him.

"YOU TWO WERE ENGAGED! ENGAGED! DOES THAT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.. WHEN I HEARD... I DON'T KNOW WHERE I WENT WRONG WITH YOU, YOUR BROTHER IS SUCH A SUCCESS-"

"Yeah, being hunted by the Ministry is everyone's dream.." Violetta muttered to Dorcas.

"IF YOU THINK YOU'RE STILL CONSIDERED A MEMBER OF THIS FAMILY- WELL MISSY YOU ARE SORELY MISTAKEN. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU BETRAYED ME, DISAPPOINTED ME, SO GREATLY. YOU. WILL. GET. YOURS." The last sentence four sentences where spoken with the most spite. It seemed to have more of an effect on Violetta then the whole rest of the letter, to which while her mother had been on her rant she had been casually sipping her juice. At the end she put her glass down and watched it burn up.

"OI! ROISER!" Sirius Black stood at the next table. "CHEERS! Always like a good déjà-vu ." It was true, it seemed it wasn't long ago, last year in fact, that Sirius had received a very similar letter in the mail.

Violetta smiled and raised her glass to him.

In all the commotion Lily hadn't noticed a letter of her own get delivered. She didn't recognize the writing on the front. It was small and slanted. She opened it.

_Miss. Evans, Please meet me at my office after breakfast._

_Dumbledore_

Lily was in a trance. It seemed like every couple of days Dumbledore was breaking the news to someone. That their family had... died. She stood. She didn't hear James yell after her, asking her where she was going. Her family, gone. She walked out of the Great Hall. Her sister was engaged, and sure, they didn't have the greatest relationship, but Petunia had finally agreed to let Lily attend the wedding. Lily assumed it was because her mother had made some threats, probably about the amount of money the Evans would contribute to the event, but she was looking forward to it. She thought, maybe, just maybe once Petunia was married they would be able to put their differences aside. Now she was gone, they were all gone.

Then suddenly she remembered. Her family were muggles. Muggles! What was she thinking? How crazy was she? She laughed to herself. Wow Lily, you're really losing it, she thought. Why would her family be attacked? She heard her name being called after her. James ran up to her, breathing hard.

"God Evans, finally. I've been yelling after you since the Great Hall. Man you can walk fast." He panted at her, shaking his head. "Where are you headed?"

"Dumbledore's office, he needs to see me." Lily smiled at him.

He looked slightly worried and glanced at her concerned.

"Don`t worry James,`` She smiled at him, "My parents are muggles." He still didn`t look convinced. "You can come with me if you want." He grinned at her.

"I`d love to."

The two of them walked up to the gargoyle and James said the password, having been up there several times. He knocked and Dumbledore told them to enter.

"Oh, Mr. Potter, I didn`t know you`d be joining us."

``Sorry Professor, I can go...`` James started.

``No, James, you should stay.`` Dumbledore face was solemn. The confidence Lily had gained on the walk here was quickly leaving. ``Please sit.`` The two teenagers sat facing him. James saw Lily`s face, and grabbed her hand, squeezing it gently. She looked at James, panic etched in her face.

``I`m sure you haven`t heard, but last night there was an attack,`` Lily inhaled sharply, her nails dug into James`s hand. ``At a muggle department store.`` Tears were brimming in her eyes. ``Your parents were there, and Lily, I`m sorry. They didn`t make it.``

``What about Petunia?``

``She`s fine.``

``Why didn`t she..?`` She started to ask why she wasn`t there, to comfort each other. Then she realized why, her sister would never be there to comfort her. Petunia hated Lily and still would, even through this she wouldn`t see past her own jealously.

"Lily, if there's anything I can do, or if you need anything just let me know." Dumbledore looked sadly at the young girl.

Lily stood abruptly. She nodded curtly at Dumbledore and started out of the office, with James hot on her heals.

``Lily! Lily, wait!`` He ran after her, and if he thought she could walk fast, man could that girl run. She tore through the halls and was almost at the Fat Lady`s portrait when James caught up to her, she was leaning against the wall, tears streaming down her beautiful face. ``Lily, I`m so sor-`` She fell into his arms, into a desperate hug. He led her into the empty common room.

``Bed.`` She sobbed into his chest. James started up the girls dormitory stairs only to slide back down after a couple of steps. He managed to keep him and Lily on their feet.

``I can`t get up the stairs Lily..`` She either didn`t hear him or couldn`t process the information if she did.

He was now supporting her full body weight and he was relieved that his fellow Gryffindors were all in class. He felt helpless, he knew it was only a matter of time before people were out of class, and he had nowhere to take her. He figured his dorm would have to do. He carried her, awkwardly up the boy`s dormitory stairs. Once they entered the seventh year room, he carefully sat her down on his bed. She wouldn`t let go of his shirt. ``Lily, it`s okay, I`m going to find Mary, she`ll-``

``Don`t leave me. Just please... stay.`` She looked at him with the most desperate, needy eyes, he`d ever seen.

``Okay Lily, don`t worry. I`ll stay.``

``Thanks.`` She tried to smile at him, through her tears. Lily lied down on his bed, and moved over to make room for James. He looked at her, confused.

``Don`t get any ideas, Potter.`` She tried to make a joke, and it almost worked. He smiled at her, if just to humour her. He lied down next to her. For a couple of moments no one moved, and the only sound was Lily`s sniffles. James felt helpless; he had no idea what to do. Then Lily started talking.

``My dad`s name is..`` Her voice cracked. ``Was Harold. My mom`s name was Marie. They met at a drive-in movie theatre. She was with a bunch of her friends, and him with his. He snuck in, in the trunk of my Uncle Bill`s car. He saw her and said that his world was changed forever. He knew he was going to marry her the moment he saw her. So cliché.`` Lily laughed. James smiled at her. ``They were married a year later, and my sister, Petunia was born two years after that. I came a year after her.`` Lily paused. James thought she was going to say more, talk about her sister, but that was all she said about Petunia. ``My dad was a copper and my mom was a teacher.`` James wanted to ask what a copper was, but decided to let her keep going. "They were so happy. When I get married I want to be as happy as my parents..." She sniffed again. Lily's hand brushed his. James wanted to grab it so bad, and was shocked when she enclosed his in hers. "At Christmas time, when we're all together-" She inhaled loudly. "Me and Pet pretend we like each other, we always have a real tree, and we go together and cut it down. I always pick it out. Pet always gets to put the star on the top. We open our presents on Christmas Eve, but there's always something from Noel the next morning." Lily laughed. "My mom still signs the note From Santa. We always joke about it."

They were both silent for a while. Both Lily and James could imagine her family how they used to be, sitting around a fire, sipping hot chocolate and opening presents. Lily wanted to remember the happy times, not when she was getting mad at her mom for not letting her go skiing with Mary's family over Christmas, or yelling at her dad for thinking her skirt was too short. She was pulled out of her trance when James started talking.

"My dad works all the time. I can tell my mom's lonely, but they both pretend everything is always fine. Sirius came to live with us last year, you probably know that already." Lily nodded at him. "We do Christmas whenever my dad manages to get away from the office. But every year we have this huge Christmas party on New Year's Eve. My mom plans it all year. Gives her something to do. I'd go crazy just living at home, nothing to do. I guess I'd plan extravagant parties too. I think my dad's made it once since I started school, since Voldemort started this, this... mess."

"Mess is a good word for it."

James nodded at Lily. "My dad works to help clean it up, and I know I probably sound selfish wishing he was home more, with me, instead of helping.."

"It's not selfish." Lily squeezed his hand.

"The thing is, I want to do what he does. Help. But I don't know if I could do it. Leave my family behind day after day, to face the same thing, day after day. All that death. I think I'd go mad."

"You could do it." Lily smiled up at him. "You're one of the most amazing people..." She blushed at his gaze. "Er-"

"No, don't stop. What were you saying, that part about me being amazing?" James joked with her.

"Don't go spreading it around, but you're an okay guy, Potter."

For a split second, Lily forgot about her parents and was caught in the moment. Her and James, here, laughing and talking with each other. Not for the first time that week, Lily couldn't help wondering if she was in an alternate universe. She rolled over and looked at him. His eyes stared into her green ones. His eyes lowered to her lips. He wanted to kiss her so badly, but he held back. Then she leaned in and his heart soared, and lowered her face to his. Their lips just brushed when a loud bang caused them to pull apart.

"Way to skive out on Defence Against the Dark Arts without-" Sirius's loud voice projected through the room. "Oh. Oi.. uhm.." Sirius awkwardly scratched his head. James sighed and fell back onto his pillow. Would the world always be against him and Lily? "I'll be heading out.. leave you two back to.. Er-" Sirius began to make his way out of the room.

"No!" Lily cried at him. "Wait.." She paused. "Is Mary down there?" James looked at her, and they were both brought back to reality. Lily smiled a quick, small, sad smile at James as she slide off the bed past him.

``Yeah, she`s down there, looking for you. She thought you two were here killing each other over patrolling duties or something. She`s going to freak when I tell her-``

``Sirius.`` He shook his head at his friend. ``Later.`` James silenced his friend. ``Bye Lily.`` She looked back as she walked out of the room. She nodded at him as she went down the stairs.

``Lily! God, I`ve been looking everywhere for you! It`s so not like you to skip out- What`s wrong? What`s happened?" Mary`s face had concern written all over it.

``Oh Mary-`` She sat down on the red couch, her head fell into her hands. ``My parents-`` She could feel the tears coming into her eyes again. She looked up at Mary.

``What happened Lily?" Mary whispered as she began to rub Lily`s back in a slow, circular motion.

``They- they`re... gone.`` Mary looked at the girl sitting next to her. Lily was always the brave one, the strong one. Lily was the one who comforted Mary, told her when boys broke her heart that they were stupid, that she would be okay. Right now Lily needed to Mary to comfort her.

``How?"

``Attack. Muggle department store. Last night.``

``Oh Lily..`` Mary pulled her into a hug. Lily began to cry again into her friends shoulder. Mary stroked Lily`s hair. ``It`s going to be okay..``

``But is it?" Lily pulled out of Mary`s arms and looked at the other girl. ``This happens. Day after god damn day. Nothing changes. People dying, everywhere. Always!`` Lily wiped her eyes. She was done crying. She had to be strong.

``Lily-``

``No Mary. I`m tired of pretending everything is going to be okay. The only way anything is ever going to be okay is if He- Voldemort,`` Mary shuddered at his name, it was the first time Lily had said it herself. ``Dies. It`s the only way. And you know what, if I manage to kill a couple of Deatheaters along the way, all the better.`` Lily pulled out her wand, as if she was going to leave right then and there to find Voldemort.

``Lily.`` James said her name, standing with Sirius at the foot of the boys staircase. She turned and looked at them. Her passion was contagious. Sirius nodded at her.

``Now, if that doesn`t sound like a fool proof plan, I don`t know what is.`` Sirius`s eyes met hers. ``But maybe we should graduate first before we go banging on some mass murderers doors.`` He winked at her. ``Believe me, Miss. Evans, I`ll be joining you."

``Yeah,`` Mary`s voice came out stronger then she felt. ``Me too.`` James looked and nodded at Lily.

``So it`s a plan then.`` Sirius started walking towards an empty couch. ``And if I`m not mistaken, I think that the four of us, with our brains, can afford to miss one potions class. Exploding Snap anyone?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks a lot for your reviews guys! **

* * *

Chapter 5

"So Lily," Mary groaned and slammed down a letter on the Gryffindor table. "I wrote to my parents to ask them to book you in for skiing-"

"You didn`t have to do that Mary-" Lily started.

"Yes I did. But they said everything`s all booked and they can`t fit another person in-"

"That`s fine-"

"No it`s not. So I`ll be staying here with you over Christmas."

"No Mary, I can`t ask you to do-"

"You don`t have to. It`s settled. We`ll have an amazing time. Walking around the grounds, having snowball fights, learning all those secret passages the Marauders think that they`re so smart for knowing. It`ll be grand."

"What`ll be grand?" James asked as the four Marauders came and joined the two girls at the table for breakfast.

"My and Lily`s time here at Hogwarts over Christmas." Mary said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"I didn`t know you were planning staying." Remus looked at Mary. Everyone had heard about Lily`s parents, and followed her lead with not bring it up.

"Christmas sucks at Hogwarts. Trust me. I`ve done it many a time." Sirius stated.

``Just because there is a lower girl population for you to snog doesn`t mean Christmas over Hogwarts sucks.`` Mary shot at Sirius. She had taken to a new tacit, after the urging of Violetta. Roiser said that Sirius had girls falling all over him all the time, and if Mary really wanted to get him to notice her, she had to step up the attitude. He looked at her with eyebrows raised.

``Touché, Miss. Macdonald, touché.``

``You two don`t have to stay here over Christmas!`` James proclaimed. ``Come stay with me!``

Lily looked at him sceptically. They hadn`t spoken about their almost, real kiss that had happened a couple of days ago.

``Common! It would be a blast. My mom loves having guests.`` She still didn`t look convinced, while Mary was bobbing in her seat for the chance to spend an entire two weeks with Sirius. ``Common Lily, Sirius, Remus and Peter are all going to be there. You know you want to.``

Lily looked at Mary`s pleading face. She sighed, ``I suppose it wouldn`t be the worst thing in the world.``

``I`ll go write my mother right now and let her know.`` James bolted out of the Great Hall before Lily could change her mind.

``Wait James! Wait.`` But if he heard Lily`s voice, he didn`t stop.

``I still need to go to the funeral...`` Lily muttered under her breath. Mary heard and looked at her. Lily had received a rather cold letter from her sister yesterday, detailing the date and time Lily would be expected to attend the funeral and then leave, never needing to contact Petunia again.

``We`ll get there, don`t worry.`` Mary sent a small smile toward Lily, and draped an arm around her shoulders.

``Wow. What`s got Potter running like the devils at his heals?" Dorcas asked as she plopped down next to Peter.

``Lily and Mary are going to be staying with him over Christmas.`` Peter explained.

Dorcas shot Lily a look, and tried not to make eye-contact with Mary, who was also now grinning. ``That`s great! So I guess I`ll be seeing you two at the ball then.`` Dorcas said as she tried to hide her smile with a glass of pumpkin juice she began to sip.

``What ball?" Lily asked, looking suspiciously between Dorcas and Mary.

``THE Potter Ball!`` Dorcas said. `` It`s a huge deal, New Years Eve, really big party. The teenagers sneak fire whiskey and have an even bigger party themselves upstairs. It`s a pretty good time. Really fancy. Everyone`s there.``

``Everyone?" Mary asked.

``Like the Minister, yah-da-yah. You know.`` Dorcas waved it off like it wasn`t a big deal. ``But that`s getting pretty serious then Lily. You know, `` She wiggled her eyebrows at Lily. ``Meeting the family, staying over the holidays. You and James are practically going steady.`` Lily could feel her checks burning.

``Shut it Meadowes.`` Lily snapped. The internal battle that had been ragging inside of Lily was still going on, and even worse in fact. But this time it was fuelled more with the `go to James` side then the `stay away, he`s a pig side`. The death of her parents had made it apparent, life was short. Was it really worth pretending those feelings weren`t there? She was a proud girl though, and admitting that she had been wrong about Potter for years was not something that she could easily do. "So tell me more about this ball."

"Don't act like we all didn't notice that blatant topic change, but I'll allow it." Dorcas quipped. "I still have to get my dress. It's a formal event, black tie and such, if you guys want me to come shopping with you over Christmas, I could probably work it into my schedule." Violetta sat next to Remus and reached for an apple. "Love the hair Roiser." Dorcas laughed at the girl. It was nicely curled and pulled into a ponytail. "Doesn't her hair look gorgeous? 45 minutes later and it's just perfect."

"Oh shut it Meadowes. We all cannot look amazing in 15 minutes." Violetta laughed. "This girl," She pointed at Dorcas. "Wakes up with probably, what? 10 minutes to get ready, the hair, the clothes, the make-up. It is amazing. I cannot believe it happens."

"And this girl," Dorcas pointed back at Violetta. "Needs a good 3 hours to get ready. I can't handle it."

"Oh stop over exaggerating." Violetta rolled her eyes. "You are going shopping?"

"Yeah! For the Potter Ball, some nice dress robes for these ladies, who FYI, are staying with the Potter's over Christmas." Dorcas laughed.

"Very nice, very nice." Violetta nodded.

"Are you going to be there Violetta?" Mary asked.

"No, I am actually staying here over the break." Violetta smiled.

"That's buttocks. You aren't staying here. Alone, so lame!" Dorcas frowned. "Didn't I tell you? I wrote my mom and told her you're coming home with me. She was not very impressed but I live to rebel. It'll be awesome."

Violetta smiled at her, "Seriously?"

"Yeah-huh!" Dorcas laughed.

"We can all go shopping together!!" Mary exclaimed gleefully.

Remus had not been able to comprehend anything that had happened since Violetta sat down next to him. He saw her lips moving, and she was looking at him, but he couldn't hear what she was saying.

"Remus? Are you okay?" She was waving her hand in front of his face by the time he regained use of his ears. It took a couple more minutes until he could use his mouth.

"Yeah- Er- Sorry." Remus shook his head. "Late night, really tired." He suddenly realized that Violetta wasn't the only one looking at him, Mary, Lily, Dorcas, Sirius and Peter were all staring at him. He yawned obviously, trying to recover. "What were you saying?" He asked Violetta as the rest of the group started to eat again.

"I was just saying that we should get going to Muggle Studies. Burbage was really mad last time I was late." Violetta stood and looked expectantly at Remus. Lupin was praying to any god he could think of that his legs would be able to function. Please, please, please, please, don't make an idiot in front of this girl.

"I can't believe your still in Muggle Studies." Sirius laughed at Violetta and Remus.

"I find it really interesting actually," Violetta shrugged at the boy. "And plus it makes mother straight livid, which is always a bonus." She grinned at him as Remus stood, looking very pleased with himself.

"Yeah, let's head out." Remus waved goodbye to the others as they left the Great Hall.

"I cannot believe that he hasn't made a move yet." Sirius shook his head, whispering to Peter.

"What?" Peter asked, confused.

"Moony! And Violetta! God Peter, your lack of instincts genuinely scares me." Sirius shook his head at Peter again, who still had no idea what was happening.

"Remus likes Violetta!" Dorcas' eyes widened. "Really?!"

"Er- What? No, that's not what I..." Sirius uncomfortably scratched his head, suddenly realizing he had gotten the attention of the remaining girls. Realizing that they weren't going to be easily thrown off he took to the defensive. "Don't you dare say anything Meadowes or so help me. Remus is a shy person and, just don't do anything to embarrass him."

"I thought Gideon liked Violetta?" Lily asked, eyebrows raised.

"Really?!" Dorcas exclaimed again. This time not as excited, but thrown off. "Why?"

"Just got the vibe." Lily shrugged. Dorcas's eyebrows furrowed.

"What Meadowes? Jealous?" Sirius grinned at her, taking the opportunity to change the topic.

"What? No, why would I-" Dorcas was cut off by Sirius's singing.

"Meadowes and Prewett sitting on a broom... Ow!" Dorcas punched his shoulder.

"Shut up Black." Dorcas glared.

"Did I hear my name?" Gideon was standing behind Dorcas.

"No." Dorcas stood abruptly. "Black is being a bugger, as usual. We should get to Arthimancy." She ushered him out in front of her and her eyes were slits as she glared Sirius down on their way out.

"Well, we better head to Ancient Runes." Lily looked at Mary who nodded and quickly swallowed the rest of her pumpkin juice.

"Later Black, Peter." Mary nodded to the boys as her and Lily headed to class.

"So, to Care of Magical Creatures?" Sirius asked Peter. The two boys stood and walked out of the Great Hall, meeting up with James who was returning from the Owlery.

"Mom says it's fine!" James exclaimed as the three boys walked down to the grounds. "How amazing is this? Practically three weeks with Lily! God. If I could just make her see... How perfect is this going to be though!?"

"Pretty awesome I'd say." Sirius laughed. "I mean if this doesn't work, what well?"

James stopped and looked at the other boy. "You're right. This is my last real chance. If it doesn't happen, when would it?" He suddenly looked slightly green. "I just want this Christmas to be okay for her, you know? She just lost her family, I can't imagine how hard that is for her. I just want her to be happy and... God." He ruffled his hair.

"You okay Prongs?" Sirius asked as he stopped and looked back at his friend.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Feel slightly nauseas though."

"Ah sorry! Don't get like this. It'll happen. You have like, a thousand people on your side for this. We got this."

"A thousand people?" James was running his hand through his hair, messing it up again. He looked very stressed.

"Well, Er- Me. Remus, Peter..." Sirius scratched his head awkwardly. "Your mom." James looked greener. "Calm down, it'll be fine. I'll talk to Mary. She's always been pro-James." Sirius slapped James's back as they started to walk again.

"That's right! She has." James said more to himself than Sirius. "It will be fine." James's grin was replaced on his face. "You know Mary Macdonald has your number right?" He shoved his friend.

"Who doesn't?" Sirius sighed, cool oozing from him as he winked at a seventh year Hufflepuff in their CoMC class. She clearly sighed, love struck. James rolled his eyes. The teacher began the lesson.

James whispered to Sirius. "You're such a dog." They grinned at each other and turned to listen to the professor.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Have you seen my black shoes?!" Mary yelled from her trunk, she was throwing all of her earthly possessions around trying to find her shoes.

"Which black shoes?" Lily laughed. They were packing for Christmas at the Potters. "You own millions of shoes!"

"Please don't imply that my shoe love is a bad thing." Mary shot back. She was very high stress when she packed. "I have so many clothes! How do people choose what to take! Why do people make these damn trunks so small?" She was trying to shove several shirts in at once, into her already over-flowing trunk. She made a loud, battle cry sound and attempted to close her trunk in a furry, and repeatedly slammed it shut, without being able to make it close completely. "I give up! This is useless. I need everything in here! There is no way I can leave one of these shirts behind! I've already sacrificed my red turtle neck. I can't even look at it without my heart like, breaking a little." She sighed sadly at the sweater that lay on her bed, abandoned. She flopped down on the bed next to it.

"Okay, just breathe. It's fine." Lily attempted to calm the girl down.

"It's not fine Lily!" Mary huffed. "Sirius is going to be there, and like, god, I just want to look my best. And I need everything I own to look my best! Jeez, some things don't look right certain days; you know what I'm saying! I need this turtle neck!" She held the sweater like a security blanket close to her chest.

"Okay, shush. I can fit the sweater in my trunk. It'll be okay Mary." She slowly pulled the sweater out of Mary's death grip. Lily had a small smile on her face as she folded the sweater and put it her trunk. Mary was so dramatic sometimes, it was one of the reasons why Lily enjoyed spending time with her best friend. She could make Lily laugh, even when it felt like the world was falling around her.

Her parent's funeral was tomorrow, she had this feeling in the pit of her stomach, this feeling of complete dread. Mary had agreed to go with her, thank god. Lily was so terrified to see Petunia. Lily had the idea that Pet didn't know that it was at the hands of a wizard that her parents had died. She didn't know if she would be brave enough to tell her.

"You okay Lily?" Mary's voice interrupted her thoughts. She hadn't realized she had been standing, staring a blank spot on the wall. "Lils?"

"Yeah, sorry. I'm fine." Lily tried to smile. "Don't worry Mary, I'm okay." Mary didn't look convinced. "I swear."

"Okay, okay. I'll drop it." Mary sighed. They heard a muffled yell coming from down in the common room. Mary walked over and opened the door.

"HURRY UP LADIES!" Sirius's voice carried up the stairs. "TRAINS LEAVING LIKE, NOW."

"OH MY GOD." Mary cried as she frantically tried to close her trunk.

As the train pulled into Kings cross, the teenagers that had been sharing a compartment bid their goodbyes. Gideon's brother, ("Oh. My. God! Whata babe!" Mary squealed.) Fabian picked him up, Dorcas's mom came to get her and Violetta ("Ah, check out the death glare" Violetta whispered to Lily as the two girls walked past towards Mrs. Meadowes), and Mrs. Potter came to pick up the remaining group.

"Mom. Hey, how are you?" James hugged his mother. "I thought that I said we'd meet you at home?"

"Yes, dear, you did say that." Mrs. Potter said as she hugged Sirius. "But I miss you all so much that I had to come and meet you at the station. Sirius, straighten up." The boy was slouching against the wall as she continued to hug Peter and then Remus. "Remus, you look good. And Peter, how is your mother?" She didn't really listen for an answer, but walked back to James and tried to flatten his hair. "Just like your father." She muttered. Lily tired to giggle silently, but failed. Mrs. Potter's eyes turn on to Lily. "Ah, you must be Lily Evans." Lily felt intimidated. She could feel herself blushing as she nodded. "And Mary Macdonald I assume?" As her eyes turned to Mary.

"You assume correctly." Mary laughed.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Potter." Lily smiled. "Thank you for letting us stay with you over the holidays."

Mrs. Potter waved her hand in a very casual fashion. Lily's eye was caught by a very large ring on her wedding finger. She looked like a very stern women, but she had kind eyes. She was also very well dressed. Even Lily, being a muggle-born witch, could tell that this lady had fashion sense, and the money to supply it.

"We should get home. Peter, you'll be using the Floo-network I assume? And everyone else apparentation? Very good, very good. See everyone at home? Beautiful."

The Potter's house was amazing. Big and beautiful. And had astounding things around every corner. Lily and Mary spent the first day there exploring the house.

"This place is amazing!" Lily breathed to James at supper. "I can't imagine what it must have been like growing up here.." She looked around, trying to soak up everything.

"It didn't get this nice until I grew out of my 'destroy everything I touch faze'." James laughed as his mother nodded her head.

"It's true. James was such the problem child." His mother smiled at him.

"And nothing much has changed, has it Jamsie-boy?" Sirius joked. "Still a problem and still a child. Ouch!" James punched him.

Sirius and James' mom continued to tell funny stories about him until it was very late.

"... and then he looks at me and he goes, he goes 'Padfoot, man. I don't think that Ms. Headrow is going to appreciate us flying into her kitchen like this, right through the glass window' And then who comes out but Ms. Headrow, she chased him for blocks..." Sirius was gasping for air at the end of the story, along with everyone else at the table, minus James of course.

"Okay, ha ha. Now that everyone's had a nice laugh..." James glared.

"Yes, it's true, we should get to bed." Mrs. Potter ushered everyone away from the table.

Lily and Mary trampled up to their room. "Mary?" Lily whispered from the bed a couple of minutes after they went to bed. "Are you awake?" Silence. "Mary?" A bit louder, "Mary! Are you awake?!" Lily hissed.

"Now I am..." Mary's muffled response came from her pillow. "What?"

"I can't sleep."

"Apparently." Mary huffed to the other girl. "Go to sleep Lily..."

"I can't stop thinking about... them." Lily whispered.

"Who-" Mary sat up. "Oh Lily! I'm sorry." Mary pulled the covers off herself. "You know you can't talk to me when I'm half asleep. Like, I don't even remember my own name when I've just woken up." Mary silently walked over to Lily's bed and pushed her over. Mary climbed into bed with Lily. "It's going to be okay." She hugged Lily, who started to silently cry. Mary hugged Lily until she fell asleep, and Mary soon followed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Lily." Mary whispered to her friend as she gently shook her awake. "Lily, we need to get ready."

Memories flooded back to Lily. She had to get up and get ready for her parent's funeral. Right. Be strong. She bolted up in bed, and hit her head on Mary's.

"God damn!" Mary yelled as Lily and her both rubbed their heads. "Watch it Evans! Fuck..."

"Sorry!" Lily laughed. Mary smiled at her.

"Fuck that hurt." Mary rolled her eyes at Lily.

"Comic relief in the morning, who doesn't need it?" Lily smiled sadly to Mary.

"Oh Lils! It's going to be okay. You can do this." She rubbed her hands in hers. "I know it's going to be hard, but we can get through today, with each other." Mary whipped a stray tear that was falling down Lily's cheek and tucked some of her red hair behind her ear. Lily hated it when Mary did that. She didn't un-tuck it though. It felt right there, for once. Mary had already showered, so Lily went it. She stayed in for longer then she should have, and they needed to do magic to finish her hair in time. Lily slid into Mary's best pair of black shoes and looked at herself in the floor length mirror. She looked old. Really old. Not like the seventeen year old she was, but some other person. It was like an out of body experience.

"Ready Lily?" Mary asked softly from behind her. Lily nodded, she wasn't sure where her voice was. The two girls walked down the stairs to see the four boys there, in their best muggle wear, which was, surprisingly very nice. Mrs. Potter came out of the next room and smiled at the two girls.

"You two look lovely. Are we all ready?" James' mother looked questioningly around.

"You- you're all.. you are coming?" Lily asked surprised.

"Oh course dear!" Mrs. Potter replied. "If that's alright?"

"You didn't think we wouldn't come?" Remus smiled kindly at Lily. "Lily... we're your best friends."

Lily felt tears in her eyes, and quickly blinked them away.

"Yeah, jeez Evans, cut us some slack." Sirius tried to joke. James nervously messed up his hair. Lily was surprised it comforted her more than enraged her.

"It would be.. nice. If you came I mean." Lily tried to smile. "Thank you."

Mary squeezed Lily's hand supportively as they climbed out of the very large car. They walked silently up to the church, and Lily's green eyes quickly fell on the lanky blonde girl, dressed in black standing by the door, accepting condolences.

"I'm your rock." Mary whispered to Lily. "You don't need me, but I'm here for you." Mary squeezed her hand again. "And you know I've got a very mean left hook." Lily's laughter came out more like a wheeze. The group climbed the stairs and when they reached Petunia she was standing next to Vernon Dursley.

"Hello Pet." Lily said softly, and air kissed her on both cheeks.

"Hello." Petunia muttered, not quite making eye contact. "You may proceed in." She gestured wildly toward the church. Lily was stunned. How could someone be so cruel? She began to walk into the church. "And Lily?" Lily turned toward her sister. "Please don't speak to me again." Tears entered into Lily's eyes as she turned away from a sister she no long knew.

"Well, I never-" Lily vaguely heard James' mother reply as the group walked into the church.

Lily felt a hand grab hers and lead her into the church, right to the front row, the one reserved for family. A row, that Lily was sure Petunia did not want her sitting it. She looked to see who had led her here, to see James on her right, smiling supportively at her. Mary was on her left, and both were holding her hands. Lily smiled triumphantly at James.

"Thank you." She whispered into his ear.

Lily didn't notice her sister and Vernon's family walk in and sit around her. She didn't feel her sister's glares or notice the disapproving looks she was getting from the Dursley's. The only thing she could look at was the two caskets at the front of the church. They were closed, and this made Lily cry, she wasn't sure why. She didn't notice the pastor get up, or Vernon stand and say a small speech about her parent's lives. She didn't hear the songs they sang, or realize she was standing and then sitting with different prayers being read. The only thing she really noticed was the way James was rubbing her palm, and Mary's tears hitting their clutched hands. And Lily did notice that it all seemed very artificial. She didn't believe they were getting across the sort of people her parents were, how they laughed and smiled. How they loved each other and their family. Lily stood and turned toward the crowd.

"I'd like to say some words about my parents, if that's alright with everyone." Lily said simply. "I don't have anything prepared or anything, but.." She faltered slightly. Always getting herself into these situations. Then she found the words she needed to say. "My mom loved pottery. She would go shopping for something, like, socks for my dad, and find these amazing pottery plates, or glasses, or another vase. We had so much pottery in my house, my dad would joke that we lived like some of the first people, with homemade clay utensils. He's say that if the house ever flooded, we'd be able to pour all the clay and make a very nice tennis pitch in the backyard. My dad always had a joke about clay and he always needed socks. My mom would buy him pairs at a time, and he'd still get holes in them, always. My mom hated when my dad wore holey socks." Lily could vaguely make out Petunia hissing to Vernon about how disgraceful she was, embarrassing her. But Lily could also make out laughter coming from around her. She looked down at James and saw him smiling encouragingly at her. "My parents would have date nights. They'd stay out all night and then make jokes about how they still felt young after going out to the movies. Does anyone remember when they closed down the old Handgon Drive in?" More laughter. "'They closed down a damn fine national landmark they did' my dad would complain. 'Me and your mother met their years ago' 'I've got half a mind to write a letter to those political bastards'. I can't remember how many times I've heard the story about how my parents met, but I know I'd need more then all my fingers and toes to count it up. They loved each other like no one I've ever seen and," Lily turned and looked the caskets. "I'm glad they can be together, forever now." She put her hand on the wood of both of them, and just took a moment. She turned and sat back down in between Mary and James. Her hands were shaking as they found the comforting grip of the others. Lily hadn't realized, but she must have interrupted the pastor, who began to awkwardly continue his prayer. She felt right, glad she had down what she did. When everyone began to file out, her eyes met others in the crowd. People her parents worked with. They nodded and smiled at her through their tears.

Her dad's copper partner even yelled over to her. "Good job Lily. You would have made them proud sweetheart."

They stood around the grave and watched the caskets being lowered into the ground. It started to snow. Lily tried to hide her tears. She was angry with herself for crying. James put his arm around her shoulders. She leaned into his shoulder, her tears hitting his coat. The two of them stood there for a long time, not really noticing anything else.

Lily didn't hear the numerous people come up and give her their condolences, or feel the pats on her back. She didn't hear Mrs. Potter led the others back to the car, and didn't feel Petunia's glare as she walked away on Vernon's arm. She didn't even notice when James grabbed her hand and asked her if she was okay. She just stared at the mound of dirt, tears falling. It all felt like a dream, some out of body experience. She finally looked up at James.

"Lily?" He pushed some of her hair behind her ear. She nodded at him, and he gently began to lead her away from the graves and towards the warm car.

The drive back to the Potter's was silent, except for the sniffles coming from Mary. Lily walked into the house, and didn't stop until she got to her and Mary's room. She fell into bed, completely clothed and fell asleep instantly. It was dark when she woke up. She sat up and saw Mary's sleeping figure next to her. Why was Mary..? Oh, right.. she hated that moment, right after you wake up, when everything that happened the day before comes rushing back. The funeral. The tears. The pain. Lily silently got up, washed her face and changed into her pyjamas. She suddenly realized she was starving. She silently walked down the stairs to the Potter's kitchen. She walked into the kitchen and was blinded by the bright light.

"Ahhhh!" Sirius' yell startled Lily.

"God Black. Way to scare the crap out of me." Lily hissed at him.

"Sorry Evans, but I don't usually meet that many people in the kitchen at 3 am." Sirius laughed at her. "Ice cream?" Lily's eyes fell on all the food Sirius had out in front of him. "Or maybe some left over spaghetti? We had it for supper, delicious." Lily's mouth was watering, she was so hungry. "Help yourself." He offered, noticing the look on her face. She began stuffing food into her face, left and right. "Wow Lily, you'd think you hadn't eaten for days." He laughed.

"I haven't really.. since..." They made eye contact, which she quickly broke and looked down.

"I'm really sorry Lily." He said it extremely sincerely. "You didn't deserve that. Especially that sister of yours..."

"Thanks Black... that means a lot to me..." She smiled at him.

"James was pretty good too..." Sirius threw out. He risked being castrated, and he was sweating bullets, but he owed it to his friend to try.

"Yeah.." She looked awkwardly down. "He was pretty good."

"And that kiss you guys-"

"It wasn't a kiss!" She defended.

"It sure looked like a kiss, from where I was standing." He was trying to not smile, but Sirius loved pushing Lily's buttons.

"God Black, it wasn't a kiss." She crossed her arms over her chest. "It was more like a lip... Er. Graze."

"A lip graze?" Sirius laughed. "Well, if that's what the kids are calling it these days.."

"Oh shut up Black." Lily blushed. "It's complicated."

"He loves you." Lily looked into his eyes, confused.

"Er- no he-."

"Yes, he loves you." Sirius shook his head, he couldn't believe she still didn't get it. "He always has. And I just can't believe you can't see it."

"I see it! Okay!" What was she saying? "I'm just scared."

"Scared of what?"

She didn't answer his question, but instead turned it on him. "You're one to talk, when was the last time you had a serious relationship? Or a relationship at all? Or a fling that lasted longer than a day?" Silence followed. "That's what I thought. "

"I'm afraid to let someone in." He whispered, she had to lean in to hear him. "What if I let someone in, and they don't.. what if they see the real me, and don't like it... what if.." He breathed in. "What if I'm actually like them."

"Them?" Lily was confused.

"My parents, my family! Them!" He said angrily to her.

"Oh Sirius.." She stood and walked over to him. "You'll never be like them. Don't doubt that. Ever." He smiled at her. "How about we make a deal Black." Lily didn't know what she was saying, but she was feeling reckless. "I'll give James a chance, if you give a girl one. Any girl." He raised his eyebrows at her. "But if you don't want to-" Lily tried to back out, realizing maybe this wasn't the best idea.

"No! It's a deal." He shook her hand before she realized what was happening. "I'm slightly impressed, Miss. Evans. Didn't think you had this in you."

"I'm feeling slightly sick.." She muttered.

"The way you inhaled that food, I don't doubt that." Sirius laughed. Lily wasn't sure if it was the food, or the deal, but she nodded her head anyways. "We should head to back to bed anyways." Sirius quickly put all the food away and the two of them headed up the stairs.

"Lily?" They stood in front of her bedroom door.

"Yeah Sirius?"

"Thanks, for this talk and everything." He smiled at her cheekily. "I'm pretty pumped for this deal too." She rolled her eyes at him.

"This is going to come back and bite me the ass, isn't it?"

"Oh, probably." They laughed together, and he waved her goodbye as he walked down the hall to his room.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Lily?" Mary was waking her up. It felt like she had just fallen back to sleep.

"Ughhhhhhh..."

"You want something to eat?"

"Ughhhhhhhhhh..."

"Is that a no?"

Lily sat up, and rubbed her eyes. "No, Mary. I should get up." She sighed.

After she got out of the shower, the two girls headed down stairs for breakfast.

"... and I need to go to florist to get the flowers for the party. James, Sirius, have you boys finished your Christmas shopping yet?" Mrs. Potter was talking as they walked into the kitchen. All the boys were in there, sitting around the island, eating cereal. James looked as they walked in, and Lily sat next to him. He sent her a small smile, which she tried to return. "How are you girls doing?"

"Fine, thank you." Lily said softly as she gratefully accepted a bowl from Sirius.

"Do you need to head into town for any last minute shopping?"

"We're actually meeting up with Dorcas Meadowes to go shopping for dresses later this afternoon." Mary said.

"Hm.. maybe the boys should go with you." Mrs. Potter frowned. She looked slightly shook up, but quickly smoothed her face over. "I would just feel better if there were more of you together."

"You know how much I love shopping Mrs. P." Sirius grinned. "I'm sure we'd love to accompany these ladies on their shopping excursion."

"Nothing would make us happier, in fact." Remus smiled at Sirius, shaking his head.

"Oh obviously, boys. Thank you." She nodded with a knowing smile. A worried expression crossed her face again as she looked deep in thought.

James watched his mother make an excuse and leave the room quickly. An awkward silence filled the room until Remus spoke.

"So, when are we planning to leave for this shopping trip?"

Lily had forgotten about the shopping. At the time it seemed like a good idea to go the day after the funeral, get out of the house, get her mind off things. Now all she wanted to do was curl back up in bed, maybe go for a walk.

"Er- Sorry Mary, but I really.. my stomach hurts." Lily coughed. "I really don't feel very well."

Mary looked really concerned. "Oh Lily, we don't have to go shopping if you don't want to! It's fine, I'll just owl Dorcas and tell her we can't make it-"

"No Mary, you should go without me, I know you really want a new dress. I have one that I can wear."

"Are you sure Lily?" Mary looked very concerned. "You want to stay here, alone?"

"I'll stay with her!" James jumped, a little too eagerly. "I mean, if you want..."

"Yeah, that would be nice." Lily smiled at him. Silence followed. Remus looked to Mary's wide open mouth, to Peter's shocked expression, to Sirius's evil grin.

"Seriously?" James said, after a couple moments of stunned silence.

"Yeah.." Lily wasn't sure why she said yes, but she was glad she did. "I would appreciate that. Unless you need to do some shopping?"

"No!" James stood. "No, uh, I don't need to do any shopping." Lies. James hadn't started his Christmas shopping. "Well, I can go later." He smiled at her.

Lily looked at Mary, who still hadn't spoken a word, her mouth still hanging open. She turned slightly and saw Sirius giving her a wink. Why was he-? Oh, right! Their deal. Lily hadn't even thought about that, but she didn't really mind if he thought that was why she agreed to spend the day with James, alone.

"Okay, well." Remus awkwardly grabbed at his collar. "When should we leave then?"

"Now I'd say." Sirius stood and looked around. "How about we apparate to Diagon Ally?"

Everyone nodded and after several pops Lily and James were sitting alone in the kitchen, with Peter.

"Guess I better Floo out of here. See you later." Peter scurried out of the room.

"So..." James looked at Lily and smiled. "What do you want to do first?"

After a surprisingly warm walk around the Potter's land, which was amazingly huge, they grabbed some hot chocolate and sat by the fire in the living room.

"So..." James looked at Lily and scratched his head.

"Way to make things awkward Potter." Lily shoved his shoulder. The whole afternoon had been fine, until the 'So...' comment. "'So' always makes thing uncomfortable."

"Sorry." James blushed and messed up his hair, then remembered Lily hated it when he did that and stopped right away. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder, and James just wanted to put his arm around Lily. He was scared though, he didn't know if she would kill him or not. She was so hot and cold, one minute they're kissing, the next she's yelling at him. He didn't know where they stood at all.

"I'm just joking around with you James." Lily smiled at him. She leaned in slightly, and his heart began to race.

"Oh." Was why he so nervous?! This was his dream. There was no one there to interrupt him, no one to walk in-

"Hey guys!" Mary's voice carried up to the room they were in. "We're back!"

"Damn." James muttered and he also noticed Lily looked a little disappointed too, or maybe that was just his imagination. Their kiss had meant the world to him, but was Lily just in a vulnerable state? And looking for anything? He didn't want to be that guy for her, just the guy who helped her get over her loss, and then she had to chuck him, because he constantly reminded her of it.

"Common James," She stood. "They're back." And she smiled at him as they walked down the stairs together.

"Look at what I bought!" Mary exclaimed gleefully as she held up a shiny gold fabric. "Common! I want to show you what it looks like!" She pulled Lily from the room.

"Oi! Come down here when you've got it on!" Sirius yelled after them. "Prongs, you would not believe these girls. They tried on hundreds of dresses and show us all the ones that 'just aren't _perfect_' and then when they get one that is, they won't show you it! It's disgusting." James laughed at his friend. "Waste of time..." Sirius muttered under his breath. "I cannot believe we spent the whole day with those girls in that one store. Swear to God, they tried on every dress in that damn store."

"It wasn't so bad." Remus shrugged.

"That's just because you could stare at Violetta without anyone thinking you were a creep." Sirius shot at him. Remus's cheeks burned. He pulled at his collar awkwardly.

"Shut up Sirius." Remus muttered.

"You like Violetta?" Peter looked confused, his eyes darting from Sirius to Remus.

"Don't Padfoot." James said warningly.

"It's true! You like her, you always have. Why don't you do something about it already!?" Sirius began to raise his voice.

"What's your problem Padfoot?!" Remus stood angrily.

"You!" Sirius lamely shot back. He shoved Remus and Remus shoved him back. A small brail ensued, requiring James to stand and get in the middle.

"Stop! Stop it!" James yelled at them while trying to separate them, and failing. "This is idiotic!"

"Is not!" Sirius yelled over James.

"Yes! This is!" Remus finally shoved Sirius away from him and into the wall behind them. "Why are you suddenly so crazy?"

"Whatever, I'm over this." Sirius stomped out of the room.

Remus, still breathing hard, looked at James confused.

"He gets like this around Christmas." James sighed. "His family and everything."

"Should we go talk-" Remus started, when Sirius burst back into the room.

"I'm sorry okay! God, I'm just... Er. Stressed. And.. stuff." Sirius muttered awkwardly. "I'd enjoy game of Exploding Snap. Remus?"

"Yes. Sure." Remus smiled. They didn't need to apologize to each other. It was already forgotten.

"I love Exploding Snap." Peter giggled.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"James... where are you taking me?" Lily questioned, as she and James walked through the small town near his house. It was Christmas Eve and the town was lit up with decorations and lights. Santas waved at them from every window.

"We are going to find a tree for you to pick out for us." She looked startled at him, surprised he knew that small fact about her.

"What?" She questioned him. She knew James had been obsessed with her, but this was a little scary.

"Remember, you told me you always pick your family's tree out." He smiled shyly at her as they walked toward the edge of town and stopped before a small gathering of trees. "So I figured you could pick one for us, you know," He gestured to the ever greens with his arms. "Keep the tradition going."

She looked at him in complete awe. "Wow James." She smiled at him. "This is the sweetest thing..."

As James struggled with the tree through town and back to the house, Lily couldn't help but continued to be awed with how much he had changed. She offered to help yet again. He turned her down, yet again.

"I'm fine Lily, just a little difficult right here." He was sweating and breathing heavily. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry, I have the situation completely under control."

"Boys.." She muttered under her breath.

When they returned to the house James continued to insist on hauling the tree himself, all the way up the stairs and down the hall, around the rather tight corner up, another flight of stairs, threw two rather small doors and finally into the rather large leisure room. Sirius and Remus were playing exploding snap, Peter was staring out the window and Mary was reading her recently arrived Witches Weekly. No one looked up when James huffed into the room. Lily plopped down next to Mary and watched amusedly as James glared down the three other boys and dragged the tree across the room.

"Thanks!" He shot at them "Reeeeeeally appreciate the help here."

Remus, not looking up from the game sighed. "Why didn't you just levitate it?"

James, now thoroughly pissed off stared down the boys as Lily began to giggle. He looked exasperated at her until he began to laugh too. Soon the two of them were holding their sides, laughing hysterically.

The rest of the crowd was looking at them, eye brows raised.

"Good times over Christmas I tell yeah." Sirius sighed as he continued to play the game with Lupin.

Christmas pasted uneventful in the Potter house, and the days in between it and New Years flew by, the teenagers were busy with arrangements and planning for the big party.

On New Year's Eve, hours before the party, Violetta and Dorcas showed up at the Potter's door step. Remus had the incredible misfortune, in his opinion anyways, of answering the door.

"Hey Lupin." Dorcas sighed under an arm full of clothes, accessories and makeup bags. Violetta was equally weighed down but still managed to flash a stunning smile at him. This, of course, made Remus unable to function for several minutes while the girls began shifting their belongings uncomfortably in their hands. "Okay seriously. Move." Dorcas pushed past him impatiently and towards the stairs. Violetta smiled at him again, this time more apologetically.

"Wow, you're here early." Sirius grinned at the two completely bogged down girls as the struggled up the stairs.

"Beauty takes time." Violetta smiled at him. "You should know. I have seen you do your hair."

"Har har. Keep walking ladies." He pointed them in the direction of the room Lily and Mary were sharing. Violetta and Dorcas snickered the rest of the way, following his directions. Dorcas burst into the room in a huff and dropped everything she was carrying.

"Good god. What did you bring?" Mary asked, eyebrows raised, from the mirror she was sitting in front of. She had been holding her hair in various poses, trying to determine which one would be the best for that night. "Actually, the better question would be what didn't you bring?"

"Beautiful artwork takes many utensils. How many brushes do you think Michelangelo used?" Violetta attempted to say wisely.

"Wasn't he a sculpture?" Mary asked.

"Er- I am not a hundred percent sure on that. Muggle Studies, kinda gives the just more so then the details. No matter! I have brought everything we will maybe even need." Violetta waved off.

"And several things I'm sure we won't." Dorcas sighed as she fell onto Lily's unmade bed. "Where is Miss. Evans? Out with Mr. Potter?" She sat up and wiggled her eyebrows at Mary.

"Right here Meadowes." Lily came into the room, towel drying her hair. "Holy! What did you guys all bring."

"Well, since you could not make it to shopping with us, I brought pretty much every dress that I own that would be socially acceptable for you to wear to this shaker. No need to thank me, I consider it a person duty to make sure people are not going to embarrass themselves fashion wise." Violetta grabbed several dresses off the ground and began holding them up to Lily's frame.

"Thanks Violetta, but I already have a dress I was planning on wearing." Lily smiled at the other girl.

"Let us see it!" Violetta said as she plopped down next to Dorcas. "I have to make sure it is Potter Ball approved."

As Lily changed Mary looked over at the other two girls. "Been to many of these?" Dorcas and Violetta laughed.

"We've only been to every single one. Ever." Dorcas laughed.

"BUT. This is the very first time I get to pick out what I'm wearing." Violetta grinned and rubbed her hands together. "I am going to make my mother soooo livid."

Lily came into the room and the other girls jaws dropped. She was in a very simple, yet elegant navy blue floor long dress. It looked amazing on her.

"Touché Miss. Evans, touché." Violetta breathed. "You are so getting laid tonight."

Lily blushed and turned toward the mirror. Dorcas made her way across the room, and towards the heap of things that she and Violetta had brought. "How about some pre-drinks while we get ready for this thing?" She stood and lifted a bottle of fire whiskey.

"Sounds amazing."

Four hours later they decided that they had successfully gotten ready. And gotten slightly drunk.

The four ladies made their way towards the sound of a very loud party. The whole room turned as they descended the stairs. Or they felt like that anyways. The most formal party of the year and they were by far the stars of the show. All had floor length, elegant gowns, except of course, Violetta "I live to rebel" Roiser. She saw her mother's face glowering with rage as she entered the party area, in a very tight, very short, and very inappropriate dress. With very high, very leather-y, very sexy boots. She grinned.

All four of the girls were greeted by Mrs. Potter, who kissed all of their cheeks and told them all how wonderful they looked, because they did. When Violetta's turn came, Mrs. Potter smiled, shook her head slightly and when she kissed her cheek, she whispered words silently into her ear. Violetta laughed at the comments and then the four girls began to walk over to get some champagne. Courtesy of the open bar. Thank you Potters.

"What'd she say to you?" Dorcas questioned as they grabbed glasses from the tray that was floating around the room. Mrs. Potter was always trying to outdo herself.

"She said that people were going to think I was a prostitute, but that was probably what I was going for anyways. And that she wished she had my legs." Violetta's face shown with triumph. "I am pretty pleased with the results."

Lily felt a hand on her waist and hot breath on her ear. James. She turned with a big smile on her face, only to come face-to-face with a certain, very overconfident, over-everything, Gregory Lockhart. "Miss. Evans, you look stunning."

"Wow, Gregory. You look.. well." She tried to wiggle out of his grasp. "How's the real world treating you since graduation?" Three years ago, creep.

"Oh Lily, there you are." James appeared at her side out of thin air before Gregory had a chance to respond. "Sorry Gregory, need to talk with Lily. Official, uhm, Head business." Without waiting for a reply he turned and steered her away, towards a table with Remus, Sirius and Peter. "You look amazing." He whispered in her ear. Lily felt her cheeks burn.

"Thanks." She breathed back. She was nervous. Why was she so nervous? It's just James. James. Oh god. Was this going to happen? It is New Year's Eve. THE night for a kiss. He pulled the chair out for her and she sat down next to Remus, who was staring wistfully back at the other three girls who all appeared to be looking for a way to get anywhere but where Gregory Lockhart was.

"Oh look, I see someone much more famous and fabulous, worth much more of our time. Ladies?" Violetta linked arms with Mary and Dorcas as she pulled them away from a very red faced Lockhart and towards a very handsome young man, more likely than not, some sort of Quidditch player.

"No way!" Sirius exclaimed; he too was watching the struggle with Lockhart. "How did SHE meet Bagman?" As Violetta introduced Mary and Dorcas to the very cute Ludo Bagman. He was looking Violetta up and down. She sent him a patronizing look. It screamed _puh-lease_. Once again she excused her and the other two girls, this time a little more politely, and proceeded to lead them over to the table.

After dinner, most of the teenagers found themselves upstairs. And drunk.

Remus and Violetta were laughing. Hard. At what really, they weren't sure.

"I think the Potters must put something in their fire whiskey." Violetta exclaimed. Remus roared with laughter.

"I'm bored." Remus sighed after their laughter had died down. "Explore?" He questioned.

"Explore? We have both been here for like, the last five years." She raised her eyebrows at him. He stared back at her. She laughed again. "Sure. Why not."

More than a couple of eyes watched them stumble out of the room.

Gideon shifted uncomfortably in his seat, making sure he didn't spill his drink or make Dorcas Meadowes, who was sitting on his lap, topple off. He watched the couple leave the room and tried to turn his attention back to his cousin, Alice, and her new boyfriend Frank Longbottom. He saw Alice watching him and tried to smile it off. She didn't buy it.

"Frank darling, why don't you and Dorcas go get us some more drinks. It looks to me like Gideon is almost out." Frank looked at her cousin's drink, saw it was almost full and nodded his understanding.

"Sure darling." Frank easily pulled Dorcas gracefully from Gideon's lap, and she giggled drunkly. Gideon instantly shifted into a more comfortable position as he watched the two make their way across the room, Dorcas aided considerably by Frank.

"He's nice." Gideon stated. He knew a little about Frank, they played Quidditch against each other for the last couple of years, but ran in different social circles, and hadn't really talked during school.

Alice shrugged. "Mom loves him."

"She would." Gideon growled slightly under his breath. His aunt was one of those on the 'pure-blood' rampage. His aunt had convinced his mom, to disown his older sister, Molly, when she married Arthur Weasley about five years ago. It was really surprising that none of their children had followed in her footsteps.

"You can't help who you love Gid." Alice smiled at him. "You know how much I hate making her happy. She is a useful connection though, she tells me everything about everyone worth knowing about. But that's not here or there. How long have you liked Violetta Roiser?"

Gideon shifted again in his seat. Damn her, Alice could always read him like a book. He hated it. "She moved into Dorcas' dorm a while ago, and..." He trailed off.

"Nasty. Tough break, liking your girlfriend's best friend."

"Dorcas isn't my girlfriend! She's just..." He trailed off again.

"A shag?" Alice supplied.

"A shag." Gideon agreed. "I'm horrible, aren't I?"

"Yeah, but you're a boy, and it happens. But you're just making things worse, because from what I can see, Dorcas really likes you." Alice smiled at Frank from across the room as he waited in line for more drinks. "You just have to smarten up and start thinking about what the consequences of your actions are going to be."

Gideon stared at her surprised, "when did you get so smart?" Alice laughed as their company rejoined them, with a lot more drinks. Looking back, the consumption of more booze probably wasn't the greatest idea.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Lily and James were sitting together at a table downstairs. Unlike their friends they had opted to hang out a bit longer alone. A bit longer turned into a couple of hours. They laughed together and smiled. For anyone that was watching they could tell that there was something there. Something special.

"Want to go for a walk?" James smiled at Lily. The atmosphere was intoxicating. The Christmas decorations, the tree Lily had picked out a couple of days before was surrounded by others, all decorated and glamorous. She couldn't say no.

He led her out the balcony doors and put his coat around her shoulders. It was chilly outside, they could see their breath, but neither one noticed. What were the chances that a light snow started to fall, and James held Lily's hand tight. He twirled her around and she giggled as they danced to their own, silent song. Lily's head was screaming. If he didn't kiss her right then a there, she would never forgive him.

He grinned at her, that stupid grin and his hand went to ruffle his hair. She grabbed it and pulled herself into him, drawing circles in his palm. They stared into each other's eyes. She waited and waited and finally cracked.

"Okay Potter. What are you playing at? Are we waiting for the next ice age for you to kiss me or-" Lily was cut off as his lips met hers. She felt as if everything was right, this was how someone was supposed to kiss you. James just couldn't believe that this was finally happening for him. Finally. Bliss.

"Just midnight." He smiled at her after they pulled away. He showed her his watch. Lily stared at him surprised. Then she smiled, and playfully his arm. She pulled him in for another kiss.

*

Sirius and Mary were chatting. Just chatting. He wasn't even moving closer to her on the couch. She wasn't impressed. Or was she? One thing was for sure, she was confused. He wasn't hitting on her, or even flirting. And this wasn't just with her, he wasn't making moves on anyone for that matter. But he stayed with her all night, got her drinks when she needed them, but other than that... What was happening? Finally the countdown to midnight started. Here we go.

"4.. 3.. 2.. 1!" He moved in, she smiled at him and closed her eyes. In a second she felt his lips, but not in the place where she expected. He kissed her check. HER CHECK. Her eyes flew open.

"What the hell was that?" She hissed at him as all around them their friends began making out.

"What?" He was surprised at her reaction.

"A kiss on the check?! What am I?! Your freaking sister?!"

"I just-" Sirius started.

"Just what? Huh?! What are you playing at Black?"

"I just," He started loudly and then quieted down his voice as couples surfaced to look at the two on the couch. "I just," He repeated. "I didn't want this to be the same old same old with you and me." Confusion was still etched on her face. "I want to give this a real chance."

"This?"

"This. You and me. Us."

"Us?" Mary still wasn't getting it.

"Yeah."

"There's an us?" She asked, still confused.

"An us? Haha." He laughed, "I mean I want there to be, if you do." Why was he so un-sauve. Common Black, step up your game. This is your thing. Finally a smile formed on her face. She kissed his check back.

"Heck yes."

*

Remus rolled over, his head pounding. Why was this pain happening? Who did he piss off to get this pain? He groaned loudly as he tried to gather his bearings. He was on the floor, surrounded in sheets, blankets and pillows. He was actually quite comfortable despite the fact that he was lying beside a bed, not on it. And there was something rather heavy on his chest; his bare chest. As he realized he was naked he also instantly registered the feeling of skin on skin. His hand brushed a smooth, soft body. And it wasn't his. His eyes flew open and he saw a blonde head resting on his chest; his hand on her stomach.

Remus and Violetta's bodies were tangled together in many sheets. At first he had a hard time registering what was his body and what was hers. Memories of the night flooded back to him like waves crashing on the shore.

Last night they fell into the room together, Violetta landed on the bed laughing and he fell beside her. All of the caution he would normally have put in this situation was thrown right out the window. Remus, as a werewolf, had sworn to himself that he would never fall in love. Never, ever, be _with_ a women, because, well, no one could be a hundred percent sure of what would happen. That all went to hell as soon as her lips touched his. He didn't know people could get undressed as quickly as they did.

Remus could still feel her hot breath on his skin, the way her hands raked threw his hair. Their passion was raw, intense, uncontrollable. They had ended up on the floor for god sakes. When it was over he couldn't believe it had happened. He had had dreams about this, but never so _real_. As he fell asleep listening to her steady intake and outtake of breathe, he convinced himself that it was just that, a dream. Well, reality hit like a hard shell this morning, proving it was clearly not.

Last night she had told him that he was the best she ever had. Violetta Roiser told Remus Lupin that the first time he had EVER had sex (not that she knew that), it was the best she had ever had. At the time it had made his heart sore. Now it made him feel sick. He shifted and tried to roll her off of him. She obliged, still not waking, and rolled over, snuggling into the blankets and pillows. Remus sighed with relief and slowly got up, careful not to make a sound. He crept around the room, putting his clothes on silently. Remus sneaked out of the room, silently stealing one last look at her before her left.

*

Gideon Prewett woke up like he had numerous times before. With Dorcas Meadowes beside him. He sighed and rolled out of bed. She opened her eyes as he was putting on his suit from last night.

"See you." Dorcas rolled over trying to act nonchalant. She failed terribly.

"Hey Meadowes?" Gideon sat back down on the bed.

"Yeah?" She rolled back over and looked him in the eye. He shifted his gaze and tried to figure out how he wanted to say this.

"Look, we.."

"Yeah?"

"We can't do this anymore. I think I might actually like someone." Her eyes were searching his. "Someone else."

"Oh." She frowned a bit, but only for a moment. She composed herself almost instantly, and he wasn't quite sure if he imagined the whole thing or not. "Okay. Yeah, that's fine. It's not like this was anything serious or anything." She rolled over again. "See you." She repeated, her voice muffled slightly by the pillow.

As he walked out, he wasn't really sure, but he thought he may have saw her wipe her eyes. Maybe. Probably not, but maybe.

*

Violetta stretched out and grinned. Finally. Finally she chose a good guy. She had even stayed the night. She never stayed the night. Her hands blindly searched the sheets for Remus Lupin. She heard morning after sex was even better. And with him, wow. She didn't know if that was possible but she really wanted to find out. After a couple of minutes she sat up and looked around. She looked on the bed and under it. No way. No FUCKING way did Remus Lupin leave her naked in sheets after a night of crazy sex. Yup he did. Fuck. Fuck him.

In a sheer rage she grabbed her dress and realized that there was no way she was slipping back into that leather, tight thing. She searched the drawers around the room and found some old clothes. Probably James' from the Quidditch teams represented on the tee shirts she found. The pants were big in the stomach, and short in the legs, but whatever. She stormed out of the room, her dress over her shoulder. She slammed the bedroom door behind her and whipped around, running straight into Gideon Prewett.

"Whoa." He steadied her as she fell back. "This seems to happen to us a lot, Roiser." He laughed and she forced a smile at him.

"Yeah. It does hey?" She seemed distracted.

"Something wrong?"

"Everything..." She forced another smile at him. "But that is for another day. Where are you headed?"

He searched her face but she didn't show any hint at what was bothering her. "Well, the usual, Potter morning after breakfast may be calling my name right now."

"Oh god, food." She put her hand over her mouth. She grabbed a door handle and sprinted towards the toilet. "Ah worse, confession."

"Are you okay?" He followed her into the bathroom.

"Ahhh." She groaned. "Don't watch." He laughed at her and she groaned again.

"Just please go. This is so embarrassing."

"It's okay, it's not even a big deal."

"I have not drank in months, I used to have this high tolerance," She puked again. "Ahh.. I knew that this was a bad idea."

"Are you okay?" He asked her again.

She whipped her mouth and flushed the toilet. "Not the most attractive thing you have ever seen I am sure." She lowered her mouth to the sink and swished some water around in her mouth.

"I think you're beautiful." She turned and looked at him confused.

"What?"

"Nothing." He looked at her, highly embarrassed. "Sorry, that was inappropriate."

Violetta searched his face for something. She put her hand on his shoulder and smiled a small smile. "You do not want to get involved with my Gideon. Trust me, I am bad news. You are too good of a guy." He smiled at her, proving everything she was saying, with the fact that he didn't kiss her right then and there. It may have had something with the fact that he had just witnesses her puking, but you never know. They walked out together and slowly began walking to breakfast.

"Oh my god this is going to be uncomfortable." They were standing at the door to the usual spot where breakfast was held.

"Why?" He looked at her.

"Because I am a total slut." He looked at her questioningly but she didn't answer his look. She led him into the room.

*

Lily and James walked downstairs together minutes after the door closed behind Prewett and Roiser. They held hands all the way down to the dining room, where Mary, Sirius and Remus were already seated at a table in the middle of the room, surrounded by other tables, with other very hung over looking people. Mrs. Potter did not believe in anyone Drinking and Magicing and insisted that everyone who attended her party and that had been drinking, remain there for the night as well. Lily and James held hands a giggled as they ate their eggs and bacon. Dorcas, looking like a hung over mess, walked over to the group a couple minutes after they started eating. She raised her eyebrows at the couple, fake puked beside her chair and rolled her eyes dramatically. Mary looked at her confused. Wasn't this what Dorcas and she were trying to achieve?

"Bad night Meadowes?" Sirius asked as he helped himself to another serving of pancakes.

"Worse morning." She groaned, not making eye contact with Gideon.

"Sooooo." Sirius grinned evilly at the group. "Who wants to spill first about their night?"

"Yeah, I think this year we should skip that whole thing." Remus shifted awkwardly in his seat.

Violetta turned and stared at him, and a bit of colour came to his cheeks. "Well, that sounds to me like Moony is going first." He rubbed his hands together. "Sooooo. Who was your midnight kiss?!"

"Padfoot, I'm not doing this." He moved to get up.

"SIT back down." Sirius looked stern, very uncharacteristically. Remus looked at him confused and he sat back down. "It's a tradition, and if you're thinking you can change that, well, think again my friend."

Everyone shifted glances at each other, no one really wanted to confess what they had been doing the night before. Dorcas and Gideon, while not really a secret liked to keep things under wraps, Dorcas hadn't even told Violetta about them. Violetta and Remus, neither one wanted to relive that. It appeared as though Lily and James were the only ones not fazed about sharing their night.

"We'll start with the most boring, Lily and Prongs, and work are way down the table to the most unpredictable, the lovely Miss. Roiser." Violetta shot him a look that would have struck him dead if they could kill. "Sooooo."

"I hate how he's dragging out that word." Violetta hissed under her breath to Dorcas.

"Midnight kisses! We'll start with James and Lily."

The two looked sheepishly at each other. Sirius, looked relatively impressed at his best friend and then sighed nonchalantly before anyone else could notice, "boooring. Moving on. Meadowes?"

"Awe do I have to Black?"

"Hey you're not even a newbie, should have thought of that before you went snogging someone you'd be embarrassed to report back about." A small colour entered her face, and for a split second she even debating lying, but Sirius always knew.

"Gideon. I kissed Gideon."

Sirius raised his eyebrows and supplied the poor girl with an easy out. "Well, what a good friend, protecting you from all those other predators. I guess now we can skip Gid, a little less fun, but what can you do." Remus was shifting awkwardly in his seat, he was next. But Sirius postponed the agony a couple more minutes. "I personally, technically did not have a midnight kiss, but I would like to share with the confession table that I am giving a relationship a chance." This last sentence caused Violetta, who had previously been searching for a way out of the room, to cough and spit a little of her orange juice out. Sirius whipped the orange juice off his hand and shot her an eyebrow raised look. "I know, I'm constantly unpredictable, but I and Miss. McDonald here have decided to give the damn thing a shot." The group looked at them relatively surprised. Violetta had the grace to congratulate them and Lily grinned openly at her best friend, but no one made that big of a deal of it. That would happen later, away from prying eyes, to congratulate Mary on finally achieving her hearts true desire. "Nooooooow. Who who who who is next." Sirius' grin was as large as could be. "Violetta my dear, who do I dare ask was your latest victim?"

"Shut it Black." She actually looked close to tears. He was startled by her reaction, their morning afters were usually the tails of great adventures, both relishing in reliving it with the other, horror or joy. "Are you okay?" He whispered to her. She looked away and plastered a smile on her face and turned back to him. "I am not even next." Sirius looked at her confused. "Why, does not dear Remus Lupin hold that honour?"

At this point even Lily and James, as love sick as they were, were paying attention. Violetta usually just threw a name down, with a hint of a smile, and the table would moan or cheer their reaction. This year, something was different. Sirius had skipped over Lupin, unknowing, because his kiss was usually a peck on the cheek of some poor lonely girl who he would, not unkindly, ditch as soon as possible. "Ah, sorry Moony. Who was it?"

Violetta stared into his eyes. She wanted to see the shame cross his face, the embarrassment from being with a girl like her. She wanted all of his friends to know. Remus opened his mouth and then shut it. Not sure what to say. He's face was as red as Lily's hair.

"Holy mate." Gideon looked at him, "who was the broad? She can't be that bad."

"She wasn't!" He defended it with such force that people at surrounding tables turned and looked. "It was.. uhm." He muttered something incoherent.

"Sorry what was that Moony? Didn't quite catch that?" James questioned.

"Who was it Remus?" Dorcas asked. Everyone knew Remus' reputation. He had never so much as had a girlfriend. He was the good guy, the one that girls would be fighting tooth and nail within a couple of years. The one that you marry.

He raised his head and looked directly into Violetta's eyes. "It was Violetta."

"That isn't even that big of a deal." Mary laughed. "I mean, it's not like you two slept together or anything."

Violetta looked away from Remus and his eyes found his lap again. Sirius spit his coffee out and across the table.

"Well I'm done." Gideon pushed his now soaking breakfast away from him.

"What?!" Sirius hissed at the two of them. "No you didn't." His eyes were swivelling back and forth so quickly it looked like he was watching a tennis match. The looks on their faces were enough to prove to everyone at the table that they did. The girls didn't really get what the big deal was, they looked more confused at Sirius then anybody.

"And..?" Sirius questioned. The Marauders all knew that Remus had never had sex before, and that he never wanted to either. The whole werewolf thing put a serious damper in his style. This time it was the girl's job to look confused. "I mean," he tried to recover, placing a smirk on his face. "How was it?"

Mary hit his shoulder and gave him a disapproving look. "So are you guys dating now?!" She giggled.

"Oh Mary." Violetta sighed quietly and placed her head in her hands. "You are such a romantic." She looked back up at the other girl. "Sometimes," she turned and looked at Remus as she stood. "Sex is just sex."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Honestly, I don't know how the hell they do it!" An exasperated forth year Ravenclaw cried. "They're everywhere!" He was in detention with about ten other students who had been caught out after curfew by the Head Boy and Head Girl. "How do they always _know?_"

A grumble was heard throughout the trophy room.

"Who knows Cates, but stop your whining and clean that Special Services Award."

"And they just appear too. I mean how do they do that?!" Cates cried again.

"Shut up Cates!" Half the room yelled back.

Early April, while Lily and James were earning the reputation of the best Head Girl and Boy ever to catch students out after hours, due largely to the help of the Marauders Map and the invisibility cloak, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were favoured to be in the Quidditch Cup. When Hufflepuff lost to Slytherin by only 20 points, it was sealed. James stepped practices from 3 to 5 times a week and was commonly heard being referred to by his fellow players as the "slave driver". Gryffindor wasn't used to being the underdogs, and pivoted against the very mature Ravenclaw team (made up of 4 seventh years and 3 sixth, all of who had been on the team for at least 3 years) they were fighting the odds.

On game day James was spouting out inspiration speeches like they were his job. He was forcing toast down his seeker's throat while not touching anything himself. He looked like the picture of calm, except to those who knew him.

"James?" Lily whispered, "Are you okay?"

"Fine fine, never better."

"You're kinda off the wall, Prongs." Sirius cocked an eyebrow at him. "We're going to do amazing, we're going to win this!" He yelled the last part and a series of cheers went up around him.

The team stood and marched out together, a look of pure determination on their faces.

*

"I can't believe we actually won!" Sirius cried.

"You said you were sure we would!" James laughed as they clanked their butterbeers together.

"I didn't think we actually would though!"

"You were bloody brilliant Sirius." Mary breathed as she pulled him in for a kiss. The whole room cheered.

Suddenly a quiet fell over the room. James looked up towards the door and saw a sea of blue at the entrance of the common room. Gideon scratched his head and forced a smile. He held up a 6 pack of butterbeer in one hand and a bottle of fire whiskey in the other. "Bygones be bygones?"

James walked over to him and looked him in the eye. A grin spread across his face and he clamped Gid on the shoulder. "Welcome!"

*

Mary smiled as she handed Sirius another butterbeer.

"Thanks!" He grinned at her and kissed her cheek.

"So I was thinking..." She smiled at him.

"About?"

"About you and me and..."

"And..?"

"And I was thinking maybe..." A blush formed on her cheeks.

"What? Are you blushing?" His finger brushed her cheek. He took a sip of his butterbeer.

"I've decided I'm ready."

"For..?"

"To have sex."

Sirius' butterbeer shot from his mouth.

"What?! Now?!"

"I mean why not?" Mary said getting defensive. "We've been dating for almost four months-"

"It's been three and a couple days-"

"And I know you haven't said it yet but, I lo-"

"No no no."

"No no no what Sirius?"

He looked at her still shocked.

"I mean," She smiled sweetly at him, "If _you_ aren't ready, that changes everything."

" Mary..."

"What?"

"You know that I want to-"

"Do I?" She cried at him. "You were the biggest player in Hogwarts and you want me to believe that you want to, but you're not going to, because...? Why exactly?"

"I don't want to rush you into anything you aren't ready for."

"I. Am. Ready." She held his mouth in one hand and dragged his face close to hers. "Do you understand? I love-"

"Mary! I really don't know if this is the time-"

"Sirius, I love-"

"MARY!"

"Why won't you sleep with me Sirius!" She yelled at him, making people turn.

"I don't want you to regret it!" He hissed at her as he motioned with his hand to the now bystanders to turn away, "I want you to be sure."

She smiled at him, "Christ Sirius, stop being such a prat. I want you, I love you!" She said the last part, loudly over his hiss.

He scratched his head.

"You don't have to say it back, Black. I just want you to know."

"I love..."

She smiled at him.

"Butterbeer." He finished lamely. He had never said those three words and it was going to take a bit more than that. He ducked his head, "Sorry" He muttered.

"Shut up and have your way with me."

He grinned at her and stood. She jumped on his back. He piggy backed her up to his dorm.

*

"Gid, you know what have said-" Violetta quietly argued with Gideon Prewett in a dark corner of the Gryffindor common room during the party.

"I don't care, I like you and-"

"I am sorry but it is just not going-"

"I know you like me-"

"Maybe, but I am sorry Gid-"

"Why?"

"It is not safe"

"You think I give a damn about my safety?! I think I lov-"

"Gid please..."

"Vi." She suddenly realized he was standing too close. Violetta was never really one for self control. She had to get out of there. It had been way to long since she had gotten laid.

"I'm sorry." She walked away, leaving him in the shadows. Dorcas was watching from across the room and went over to him after Violetta had left.

"Are you okay Gideon?"

"Come here Dorcas."

"What?"

He roughly met his lips with hers. He tasted of fire whiskey and she found that she didn't mind that much.

Violetta looked over and saw Dorcas and Gid from the refreshment table. She took a shot of fire whiskey. And then another. And then one more for good luck.

"I think I am going to go."

"I can walk you back." Remus looked at her, slightly concerned.

"Thanks Remus, but I should be okay."

"I insist. It isn't safe out there."

She swayed a bit.

"Plus, you are pretty drunk."

"Touché Lupin. Lead the way."

After a couple of minutes, Remus had settled on placing his arm around Violetta's waste to keep her vertical. "So... What's up with you and Gid?"

She sighed, "I do not know. He claims he likes me, he almost said love today." She shuddered, "but then he goes and makes out with Dorcas?"

"Maybe he's just trying to make you jealous."

"By kissing my best friend? Good plan. He is in Ravenclaw, hopefully he is a little brighter than that."

Remus laughed.

"It does not really matter anyways because it is not going to happen, we are all wrong for each other. His brother is saving lives, mines killing..."

"Family isn't everything. Look at Sirius."

"Fair... but I just don't see it. I need someone as damaged as I am."

"I'm damaged."

"What?"

Oops. Did I say that out loud? Remus panicked.

They had stopped. She was looking at him through her eyelashes.

"I mean..."

When had she gotten so close to him? Why was her chest pressing into his? Why were her lips so pink and tempting?

"You mean..?" She smiled at him.

"What the hell is going on here?!" A deep voice yelled from behind Remus. Remus wheeled around to see who had walked in on them and was hit right in the chest with a body bind curse.

"Antonio! What the hell?!" Violetta clumsily attempted pulling out her wand.

He disarmed her instantly.

"New boyfriend Vi?" He sneered at her. "Out this late too I see, as prefects you would think you would have a little more regard for the rules."

"Shut up Tony." She was pressed up against the wall as he moved even closer to her, stepping over Remus to get to her.

He looked at her, searching her face. "He is not my boyfriend either." She stared back into his deep green eyes. "You do not have to go all macho man on us, okay? He is helping me get home."

"Helping himself into your pants more like." He hissed at her.

She rolled her eyes at him. "That is not your concern either way. What I do in my pants is my own business now."

His eyes narrowed at her. "Those are brave words Rosier, especially without a wand." He traced a finger down her cheek and along her jaw. "I would not mind being in those pants again though."

"Tony..." She sighed at him. He had pressed his body into hers, and where his mind was was very clearly pushing into her thigh right now.

"I miss you." He muttered into her ear.

She sighed at him, "Tony..." She repeated.

He pushed away from her. "So that is how it is now? You are with this _wolf_."

She rolled her eyes at him, "Even Severus dropped that and you are still trying to-"

"I miss you." He had turned back to her. She saw the hurt in his eyes for the first time. "Is there any way we-"

"Tony, you know-"

"Yeah. Yeah, you are right."

"You have chosen your side, I have mine. We discussed this Tony."

They stared at each other for a couple more minutes. "I better go." He finally said as he handed her back her wand.

"Yeah, okay." As soon as he was around the corner she released Remus from the curse. "Remus I am so sorry!"

"Thanks." He gasped as his stiff body fell slack.

"Are you okay?"

He shakily stood. It was her turn to put her arm under him to steady him. Unfortunately she was still pretty wasted. They fell into the wall. A nervous giggle left her mouth.

"He still loves you." Remus stated as they finally got their balance and began walking again. She waved her hand in a dismissive action.

"You love still him."

She looked at the ground.

"I-" She started. "I-" She tried again. "I thought I did. But I do not. I just, love what we _had_."

He looked at her. "Remus, you look at me like that, but you do not really understand, no one does. You do not know him, not like I do. We are so, _perfect_ for each other, except for one thing. And that one thing is a major thing. He wants to kill some of my best friends for some outrageously minor reason like their _blood_. It is despicable and embarrassing and just _wrong._ I will never love him again. No unless he changes his opinion. Unfortunately there is no way he can do that and live, so..."

"You're S.O.L.?"

"Pretty much." They had reached the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room after climbing the millions of stairs, or at least that was what Violetta complained to. He looked at her and smiled.

"So this is you."

"It could be you too?"

"What?" He reeled.

She blushed a little. "Er-" She laughed a bit. "Funny story, but I have been having these dreams about-" She stopped and coughed.

"About?" He was curious, his mind was in overload. Please don't say sex dreams, I will actually die, Remus thought.

"Well it has been a while since I-"

Say sex and I WILL _DIE_. Remus' mind was freaking out. His face remained calm and a slightly confused look remained.

"I have not-"

He continued to look at her and she struggled to make her sentences complete.

"Never mind." She finally sighed. "Thanks." She turned towards the eagle and the knocker.

Inwardly he sighed with relief. He couldn't help his disappointment however. He looked at her, "Are you able to-"

She shot him a look. "Yes, I am able to answer these questions Lupin, thank you. Why does everything think I'm an idiot?" He didn't answer, it wasn't a question she really wanted him to answer. But she did answer the doors question, beautifully. Remus walked back to the common room slowly.

"Remus?"

"Oh hey Wormtail. Where have you been?"

"Just you know, around." Remus nodded, preoccupied. The two Marauders walked back to the Gryffindor common room.

*

Lily and James sat together on a couch as the party roared on around them. Lily's smile grew as James starred into her eyes.

"What are you thinking?" She asked as she pushed his hair out off his forehead.

"How much I love your eyes."

She blushed.

The portrait hole slammed open and a very pissed off and disgruntle McGonagall walked in. "What in god's name is going on in here!" Silence fell over the room. Her eyes fell on James and Lily. "Head students none the less!"

"Sorry Professor." James and Lily muttered.

"Everyone! Get to bed. _Now_!" She hissed. There was a scuffle and the room was completely empty in seconds. Unfortunately this required the students from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff that had joined the party to crash in the dormitories with the Gryffindors.

When James and Lily got up to the seventh boys dormitory all the beds were practically full of Ravenclaw players, Dorcas and Gideon were in James'.

"Bloody hell!" James yelled.

"Wha..?" Dorcas looked up, her shirt was half off and her hair was a mess.

"Get. Off. My. Bed!" James yelled.

"Sorry mate." Gid half laughed as he grabbed his own shirt and threw it over his head. "Think Lupin would mind if we used his?" James glared as he shrugged. Lily giggled as James slammed his curtains shut.

They climbed into bed and Lily snuggled into his chest. He shifted away from her, just slightly.

"What?" She asked in a whisper. This time it was his turn to blush.

"Nothing."

"What is it James?"

"I'm just thinking about Dumbledore."

"Uhm. Okay?"

"And anything that is going to be a turn off, because basically the biggest fantasy I have in life itself is being fulfilled right now and I'm letting my mind get away from me."

She looked at him, slightly confused. After a couple of seconds, (it felt more like an eternity to James, who was dying of embarrassment), a grin fell onto her face. She giggled a little bit. "Really James? In my over sized Gryffindor t-shirt and these unicorn shorts I got as a gag birthday present last year? I'm not even wearing make-up."

"You've never looked more beautiful." He stared into her green eyes.

"You say that to all the girls Potter?" She barely breathed back, he had taking her breath away.

"Just the ones that I love."

Silence.

"What?" Lily finally asked after several minutes.

"I love you, Lily Evans. You don't have to say it back, but I've loved you for over 3 years now and I think-"

James was silenced by her lips on his. Her hands were in his messy hair, an action she knew drove him crazy. She rolled her body on top of his and began to pull his shirt from over his head. Once his torso was exposed, he quickly rolled her back, so he was the one on top. He kissed her again, his hands roaming her body. She wrapped a leg around his hip, pulling him closer to her. He froze and pulled his head away from hers. Her eyes searched his face.

"What's wrong?" She finally asked. He rolled off her and ran his hands through his hair.

"I think you should go."

"What?"

"I'm using all the self control I have here, I don't think..." He blew his fringe out of his eyes and stared at the top of his four poster bed. "I won't be able to stop if you don't go now."

"I love you too." She traced a finger over his profile, stopping at his lips. He breathed in deeply when she said it, and hadn't exhaled yet. "Breath James." He did and she smiled, climbing on top of him again and kissing his lips gently. He didn't move, hands firmly at his sides. He groaned as her hands lightly grazed his chest. She moved her mouth to his ear and whispered the words that would be the death of him. "What if I didn't want you to stop?"

"Are you sure?" He grunted out.

She nodded once, and that was all he needed. A small giggle escaped her lips as he flipped her over but was quickly silenced by their lips meeting. He pulled away one last time. "I love you."

She smiled back. "I know, I love you too."

"This is the last time I'm going to ask. Are you sure?"

"Merlin James, I'm starting to think you're the one who might not be ready for this."

"I love you , I love you, I love you." And then he kissed her.

When Remus and Peter finally made it back to the Gryffindor common room, after dodging McGonagall in the hallway, they found the common room completely full, with other students sleeping on couches and armchairs. They carefully walked and stepped over people to get to the boys dormitory.

"What the hell..." Remus muttered as he looked at the war zone that was his dormitory. His bed was occupied and the only one that wasn't was Peter's.

"Uh," Peter started. "Sorry."

"I'll be fine Peter." Remus scratched his head. Now what?

Peter shrugged at him and climbed into his own bed.

Remus sneaked into James' school bag and pulled out the Marauders Map. He looked at the Gryffindor dormitories and quickly determined there wasn't an open bed anywhere. His eye quickly found Violetta Rosier's dot, pacing in the Ravenclaw seventh year girls dormitory. Could he?

"No." He whispered to himself. But he noticed a silvery robe hanging out of James' bag. He could. He shouldn't but...

He threw the cloak over himself and ran to the Ravenclaw dormitories. He stood outside the seventh year girl's dormitory, after levitating himself up their staircase. A lot of effort Moony, for something you aren't going to go through with, he thought to himself. He noticed the door was ajar. _The bloody door was ajar._ Fate. Destiny. Creepy stalker gods were smiling on him. Do it. Don't. Knock. Walk in. KNOCK. Walk in. Just knock. He raised and lowered his fist five times before the light turned off. He heard the creak of her bed springs and his imagination sprang to other reasons why those could be creaking, mainly because of him. Fifteen more minutes passed and as he tried to develop into a higher species with super human hearing. Then he heard a muffled moan and then, "Remus."

He nearly had a heart attack. He jumped clear out of his skin. He whirled around trying to find the source of the voice. It was then he felt the billowing of the invisibility cloak. No one could see him... so who said his name? "Remus." There it was again, and this time he was sure it came from inside Violetta's room. As silently as he could, he pushed the door open.

There she was, wrapped in white sheets and beautiful. His mind flashed back to the last time he saw her in white sheets and he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbed. He didn't know what made him do it, but he took off the invisibility cloak and walked over to her bed. "Remus." She breathed again, this time rolling a little in her sheets, rubbing her hand threw her hair. His breath caught in his throat. These must be the dreams she was having about him. Remus Lupin was never one for cockiness, but he thought she looked pretty hot and bothered, considering that the window was open and it was pretty cool in the room. He felt the blood rush to his pants, god, he was going to hell.

And then, as luck would have it, a gust of wind came and slammed the window shut. Violetta, who had always been a jumpy sleeper, probably from sharing a room with Bellatrix Black, sat straight up in her bed. She put her hand on her forehead and let out a nervous laugh. Then she turned to lie back down when her eyes fell on Remus.

"Remus?"

"Er-"

A grin spilled on her face. "So I am still then dreaming, eh?"

She sat up on her knees and grabbed his hand. She pulled him towards her and wrapped her arms around his neck. "What I do not understand is why you are wearing so many clothes."

Hell. He was going to _hell_. What the fuck was he going to do? Bugger. _BUGGER_.

She was wearing an old Quidditch shirt that only half covered her bum and was too big in the neck. It fell off her shoulder, and he felt the tightness his trousers grow. His mind was going a mile a minute. Get out of here, how to get out of here? Her hands were pulling his jumper over his head. Oh bugger. She pulled him onto the bed and her mouth was on his. Suddenly leaving didn't seem like the biggest priority. She laughed a little as he made his way down her neck. He looked up at her, his eyes dark.

"What?" His voice was husky, and he was insecure, wondering if real Remus lived up to dream Remus. He was going to hell.

"It is just weird that is all. Usually I am dressed in sexy red lingerie and you are naked in two seconds. I am not used to this foreplay and casual wear." That was all he needed. He undid his belt and had his trousers off in seconds. He pressed himself in between her legs and she gasped.

"What?" He asked again.

She grinned at him, "Just bigger than usual too."

He was definitely going to hell.

Later that night, after a lot of mind swearing and guilt, Violetta lay in his arms. He had forced himself to stay awake, and when he was completely satisfied with the deepness of her sleep, he gently rolled her off of him. He grabbed the cloak and snuck out the way he came. He felt like doing a victory dance, like he was safe at home mound or whatever the muggles say. But he was still going to hell. That, he could live with.

*

The next morning people crawled in for breakfast around lunch time.

"So where did you end up sleeping last night Remus?" Peter asked as he ate his club house sandwich.

Violetta was just sitting down across the table from him. She winced as she sat.

"You okay Vi?" Dorcas asked as she helped the girl lower herself to the table.

"Yeah just a little sore, not sure why." She laughed.

"In the tub actually," Remus answered, not making eye contact with anyone. That was at least where he had slept when he got back.

"Yeah, sorry about that." A blush crossed Dorcas' face. This time it was Gideon's turn not to look at anyone.

"I'm really sore too Vi." Mary nodded.

"Well that's expected Mary." Dorcas laughed. This time it was Mary's turn to turn red. Dorcas turned back to Vi. "Where did you end up sleeping Vi?"

"I made it back to the dorm before McGonagall crashed."

"Have any more of those dreams?" An evil smile was on Dorcas' face. They both turned and looked at Remus who was pointedly staring at his mash potatoes.

"Yes." Violetta had lowered her voice, but Remus could still hear. He could feel his ears burning. "This one was..." She trailed off and looked back at Remus who had now engaged Sirius and James in a fake Quidditch conversation he was only half involved in. "The best one yet. I swear to god it was real. I feel like I had the craziest sex of my life last night."

He couldn't help the smile that crossed his face.

"And you know how usually it is a little... different?"

"Different?" This time it was Lily who asked. The girls had just been caught up to speed a couple of days ago on Violetta's late night sex dreams. Mainly because Dorcas had told everyone in the library while they were slaving over a Charms essay. It is hard to hide sex dreams when you moan the guy's name all night from your roommate.

Violetta sighed. "Well, god. I cannot believe I am telling you this. But usually it is like, on a boat, or, one time it was on a broom. And another time we were using... stuff. Or he is the Minister of Magic and I am his naive secretary. Well you get the idea."

"She means she's horny as shit."

"Thanks Meadowes."

"But this time?" Mary had leaned in too.

Violetta sighed as the numbers in the conversation grew. "This time it was... normal. And sweet."

"What'd you mean?" Dorcas asked.

"I mean, I was wearing my pyjamas, he was dressed normally. We actually had to remove clothes instead of them just disappearing, he complemented me. But the biggest difference was..."

"What?" The three other girls leaned in closer.

"His..."

"What?!"

"His you-know-what was like, _huge."_ They looked at her. "I mean it is always pretty big, but this time... Holy."

"No wonder you're sore." Mary giggled.

"Dream sex shouldn't make you sore." Dorcas rationalized.

"Uhm, excuse me?" Sirius' attention was diverted.

"Never mind Black."

"Oh screw that," He looked at the girls. "Which one of you is having dream sex? And with who?"

They rolled their eyes and continued eating their lunch. Well, Lily and Mary did. Violetta and Dorcas were too hung over to even think about eating.

After a couple of minutes Sirius spoke again. "It has to be Violetta."

Violetta spit out her water. "And why would it be me?"

"You're the only one not getting any."

"Well!"

"Is it not true?"

"Not the point Black."

"And you have a history of sex dreams too."

If it was possible her face got even redder.

"Do not."

"Do too!" Sirius laughed. "You had them even when you were getting some."

"Shut up Black."

His smile grew even bigger. "Common, don't make me guess who your latest victim is." She stared pointedly at him. "Dumbledore?"

"Oh common!"

"Flitwick?"

"Black, I am warning you..."

"Prewett?" Gideon looked up hopefully. Violetta didn't move. "Fabian then?" She rolled her eyes. "Prongs? Wormtail? Moony? Me?"

When he said Remus her eyes flickered just a bit, but he caught it. Damn he was going to be a good Auror.

"Moony! No way!"

Remus looked at her. Play it cool Moony. "How was I?"

Exasperated she threw up her hands. "I am going for a walk!"

The Marauders laughed together while the girls continued their gossip.

"So Mary, how was it?" Lily asked quietly.

A huge grin crossed her face. "It was... perfect. I seriously just want to do it all the time. The only reason I'm here right now is because he like, forced me to come down to eat. I can honestly say my school work is going to like, seriously suffer and I am not even worried. Not the slightest concern, and you want to know why? I'll tell you why. Because I can now die happy that I have shagged Sirius Black and loved it and I have the knowledge I can shag him whenever I want."

Lily and Dorcas laughed.

"I am not joking ladies." Mary smiled. "I think if everyone just had sex, there would be no more war, no more deaths, none of this blood mumbo-jumbo. He-who-should-not-be-named just needs to get laid and this whole thing will be water under the bridge." She sighed as she opened the Daily Prophet. "If only things were that simple, eh?"


	12. Chapter 12

**Thanks for the reviews! I added a Lily-James scene to the last chapter, if you want to check it out, it doesn't change the plot or anything, so up to you! I have one more chapter left and I'm done! Thanks for reading guys!**

* * *

Chapter 12

"I can't make it tomorrow night." James scratched his head.

"Why not?" Lily looked at him. "It's our anniversary and you can't make it?"

"It's a secret."

"A secret."

"Yeah, and it's not my secret to tell."

She stared at him. She looked out the window and saw the almost full moon.

"Is it Remus' secret?" She muttered. He looked at her.

"You know?"

"I've known for a while now..." She sighed. "But I have a feeling I don't want to know what you're doing, do I?" He smiled at her. He kissed her.

"I love you."

"Yeah yeah. I know."

*

It was early May when Lily, Dorcas and Violetta sat down to discuss Mary's upcoming birthday.

"So I don't know if you two are aware or not," Lily said, whispering to Dorcas and Violetta, "but it is Mary's 18th birthday next Saturday, and I was just wondering if we should plan some sort of party?"

"Oooh, I love getting up to shenanigans." Dorcas laughed. "What were you thinking Lily?"

"I don't know, but I want to do something special. I'm not sure if you ladies know or not, but in the muggle world, 18 is the big birthday, not 17." Lily shrugged. "And I just know she went a little overboard for ours, and I want to repay the favour." The three girls thought back to the last couple of months, and the horror they experienced returning to their respective common rooms on their birthdays. Surprise party was putting it lightly. Evil smiles appeared on their faces.

"Well, I've been planning my revenge for a while, we definitely need to do something more than the usual common room drunk throw down." Dorcas looked up to the roof, eyes squinted in thought.

"Er... hm.." Violetta began tapping her finger as Lily sighed.

"I think we're a little inexperienced when it comes to this sort of thing." Lily grinned as James and the other Marauders walked into the Great Hall. "But maybe..."

Dorcas turned around and smiled as she realized what Lily was looking at. "But maybe our eviler counterparts might be able to throw in a couple of suggestions."

"Oi! Black!" Dorcas called and waved her arms in a violent motion. They needed to get talking, who knows when Mary would pop up from her impromptu meeting with McGonagall about her last Transfiguration essay.

"Where's the fire Meadowes?" He laughed sitting down beside her.

"It's McDonald's birthday on Saturday." Panic flashed across Sirius' face. "That's what I thought." Dorcas laughed. "We need a plan. Any suggestions?"

Peter pulled out the paper and began reading the Entertainment section next to Sirius.

"We could just have a party, you know, the usual contraceptives, etc, etc." Remus shrugged as he suggested it.

"We've already eliminated that option," Dorcas waved him off. "We need something... epic."

Sirius was reading over Peter's shoulder, and ripped the paper out of his grasp. "Have you seen this?!" He shoved it into Violetta's face. "The Hobgoblins are coming to London, one night only, location to be announced, MAY 19!"

A light blush found Violetta's checks. "I was aware, actually." She folded the paper nicely and handed it to James.

"The Hobgoblins are only Mary's BLOODY FAVOURITE GROUP RIGHT NOW." Black gasped. "It's prefect!!"

"There's no way we'd be able to go to London Sirius, you know that." Dorcas sighed.

He waved her off, "You and I both know that being allowed doesn't apply to us." He motioned to himself and the other Marauders.

"But Sirius," Lily sighed as she finished reading the advertisement after James. "It says location to be announced, obviously, for security reasons. How would we know what this location is? And tickets are sold out. It's a good idea, but it seems impossible."

"It would be impossible, for us mere mortals." This is when Sirius' grin got even wider, almost maniac looking. "But not for lead singer, Stubby Boardmans', bloody ex girlfriend!"

Everyone's eyes followed Sirius' and whipped towards Violetta, mouths wide open.

"You?" Peter coughed. "You dated Stubby Boardman."

"Not so much dated as slept with. Last summer! Best thing she ever did." Sirius grinned at her. "Common Violetta! Do it for Mary?"

"Do not use your puppy dog eyes on me Black." She hissed at him. "We did not exactly end on the best terms." She tried to explain. Everyone's mouths were still hanging open.

Sirius waved it off like that didn't even matter. "You and I both know how extremely charming and _persuasive_ you can be when you want to."

"Wait," James said, realization dawning on his face. "Last summer?"

Violetta nodded weakly.

"Does that mean.." Violetta looked him straight in the eye and nodded. He raised his eyebrows and looked at Sirius.

"What??" Lily questioned James.

"His hit from then, I believe it is called 'Cold Hard Witch', yeah, uhm..." Violetta shifted in her seat. "That's about me."

All the mouths that were closed were open again.

"So that line, 'you're a witch, a cold heartless bitch' is about-" Remus asked before he was cut off.

"Yes!" She hissed.

"Common Roiser," Sirius looked at her, trying to make her meet his eyes. He even reached over and grabbed her hand. "Try?" She finally looked up.

After several seconds she rolled her eyes and sighed. "I will try."

"Brilliant!" Sirius stood up as he cheered.

"What's so exciting?!" Mary giggled as she sat down next to Peter.

"Nothing!" Numerous people said as she sat down.

Two days later Violetta got a very thick, very flashy looking letter from an equally flashy bird. "Well, I got us 8 tickets. I do not want to think about what I am going to have to do to earn these back stage passes." She made a face. "Whatever," Violetta sighed, "at least it will make Mary happy."

*

On May 19th, Mary McDonald was in a bad mood. A very bad mood. Not one of her friends had said happy birthday to her. Not one of her friends had given her a gift. Her BOYFRIEND had even forgotten. In the back of her mind, she secretly hoped that there was going to be a surprise party waiting for her when she got into the common room after Lily insisted Mary finish her Potions essay. THERE WAS NOTHING. NOTHING. W. T. F.

Mary was fuming when she walked up into her dormitory, Lily trailing a couple of paces behind her.

"Something wrong Mary?" Lily tried to ask, but she had to turn around to hide her smile.

"No." Mary hissed as she threw her book bag on her bed. "Nothing is wrong. At. All."

"Okay, I can't handle this." Lily started laughing. Mary's face was priceless.

"What?!" Mary snapped. Lily continued to laugh. Mary's face changed from angry to excitement. "I knew you didn't forget! Tell me what we're doing!"

"Get changed. We're going out."

*

"This has to be the greatest thing I've ever experienced in my entire life!" Mary screamed the last half as she hugged her friends. They were at a small pub in the middle of London where the concert had just finished.

"Well, we have two backstage passes." Lily grinned at her friend, Mary's smile was contagious. "So you can meet Stubby!"

"What?!" Mary screamed again.

"I'm going to go deaf with these screams." Remus sighed as he pulled at his ear.

"Sirius, you go with her." Violetta smiled at him as she handed him the passes. "This was your idea after all." Mary turned her glow toward Sirius.

"You planned this!"

"Well-" His sentence was cut off with the kiss she planted on his lips. When they pulled apart Sirius turned to Violetta and mouthed a thanks as she pulled him towards the back of the pub.

The remaining six chatted loudly at each other and finished their drinks in the crowded bar. No one seemed to be in a hurry to leave. For all they heard about how unsafe London was these days, no one in this bar seemed to be too worried about it. Lily thought to herself, teenagers don't really seem to understand the severity, the horror of what was happening, what Voldemort was doing. She suddenly got a sick feeling in her stomach.

"We have to get out of here." She hissed at James.

"What?"

"I have a really bad feeling about this."

"What?"

Then the screaming started.

*

There are few defining moments in your life that you can look back on and say that was the day everything changed. The moment everything you stand for gets solidified. The moment Mary MacDonald died by the hand of a death eater, everything changed. Everything for everyone changed.

"I can't believe she's gone." Lily cried into James shoulder.

"This can't be happening..." Remus sighed as he put his head in his hands.

Sirius took another swig of fire whiskey and passed it to Dorcas. She wiped her eyes and passed the bottle to James.

"This is my entire fault." Sirius muttered as he took the bottle back from James.

"Don't you dare say that Black." Dorcas growled at him. "No one dare gets to pity party on this, this was no one's fault. As an entire group, we were all responsible. We all decided to go, we all thought it was genius. Don't you dare go there." She grabbed the bottle out of his grasp and finished it. "Mary wouldn't want you to go there."

"I was right there. I was right there next to her." Sirius shook his head. "I- I tried to grab her." He turned his head away from the others. "She froze. She just froze." He wiped his eyes. "I- should have done something. Anything."

"No Black. No." Dorcas shook her head at him furiously. She grabbed his shoulders and made him look at her. "Don't you dare."

"I loved her." He whispered. Dorcas looked at him and bit her lip, trying to stop her tears. "I never told her, but I loved her." She pulled him into a tight hug.

"Did you recognize those voices?" Lily whispered. Everyone in the room turned to look at her.

"It was all so quick-" Remus started.

"I did." Lily spoke again. "I heard them. Bellatrix for sure, maybe Malfoy."

The silence pressed on them.

"He was there too." Lily said after several minutes of silence.

"Who?" James whispered.

"Voldemort."

"What?" James hissed.

"He was the tall one, who was standing over us." She was speaking only to James now, but everyone was hanging on her every word. "The one that apparated right before the Aurors arrived."

"How can you know that Lily?" Dorcas asked.

"Just the way everyone carried themselves around him, the respect," she said the word like a swear "they showed him. I could just tell."

Silence again. This time at the sheer horror of how close they really had come.

"Where is Violetta?" Remus asked after several minutes.

"She's with Gideon." Dorcas sighed back. "Life is too short." She muttered at Lily who had looked at her, sympathetically.

"Dumbledore is coming." Peter was watching the map. He wiped it clean at the same time the headmaster walked in the door.

"I'm not going to lecture you and I'm not going to tell you how disappointed I am in you all. I think your own self loathing is enough punishment." They looked up at him, thoroughly shocked. They all decided long ago that they were suspended. They didn't think they deserved anything less. "Mary MacDonald was murdered." He looked into the eyes of each of the students eyes. "You should have known better then to sneak out and go to London, you should not have jeopardized your safety in this way. I assume fault lies with me; I have done a poor job of implementing the severity of the situation." His eyes feel on Lily, whose own parent had died. "The reason that I called you here," He looked into James', Remus', Sirius', Lily's, Peter's and Dorcas' eyes, "Was to, excuse me, use this incident as a reason of motivation, to take the horror that you have witnessed and turn it into desire to seek punishment for those responsible." He looked at them. "I was wondering if you all would be interested in joining my Order."

"The Order of the Phoenix?!" James gasped.

"Yes. And I think we could use you. "

*

3 Years Later..

"Have you talked to Moony lately?" James asked Sirius as they walked through the Ministry of Magic. They both worked as Aurors under Mad Eye Moody, their personal hero. Or at least he was before they started working for him.

"Nice to see you ladies could make it." He barked at them as they walked into the office.

"We're on time!" Sirius sulked under his breath as they sat down next to Gideon and Amelia Bones. Lily and Dorcas grinned at them from across the room.

"On time is late, Black." Moody huffed. "I'm tired of your attitude. You better watch yourself or you'll be stuck behind that desk for the next 4 months with the skirts."

Amelia snuck a smirk at Sirius as he slouched down in his seat. Lily and Dorcas had the grace to glare at Moody for the sexist comment. The week's victims were discussed, along with the Minister's new 'plan' of action against You-Know-Who. More like a joke, considering how effective the other ones were. People were still dying.

After the meeting James and Sirius continued their conversation as if it hadn't been interrupted.

"So anyway, yeah I talked to Moony. He's trying to get a job, that wench Umbridge is making it impossible for him to find anything."

"Witch." James muttered under his breath as they both get set to apparate out to their next post.

"Yeah I know," Sirius sighed, "and he won't take any of my help either. Stubborn bastard."

Soon they had to fall into silence as they walked down the dark alley with their wands lit at a slow pace. Everything was clear, and they knocked three times on a door way. A hole in the door slide open and two eyes peered out at them.

"Password?" A voice hissed.

"Common Benjy, no one wants a hero," Sirius snickered as he tried to push the door open.

"Don't mess with me Black, password?" Benjy repeated holding the door closed.

"Oh God, is it Fawkes?" James sighed, scratching his head. "No, wait that was last week."

"Lemon drops?" Sirius contributed.

"That was yesterday," James sighed. "Sugar Quills?"

"Chocolate Frogs?" Sirius shrugged when Benjy still wouldn't let them in. "The Fat Lady didn't even change them this much. I've never felt so inadequate." He sighed again.

"Girls," Moody huffed up behind them. "Call yourself Aurors. I'm embarrassed." He turned to the door. "Alastor." The door opened but two wands turned toward James and Sirius.

"Sure it's them Moody?" Benjy asked.

"I only know two idiots like this. Even Death Eaters are smarter." Moody scrutinized their stance up and down. "Get your wand out of your back pocket Potter." He growled and walked into the dark hallway, followed by the three men. Sirius shoved Benjy as they walked. Benjy grinned back.

"I had to."

*

They filed into their seats after Moody, James next to Lily and Sirius next to Dorcas.

"Okay team, listen up." Fabian Prewett held up a camera. "I want a picture of us."

"Are you serious?" Dorcas groaned and attempted to fix her hair. Sirius raised his eyebrows at her. "I haven't washed my hair in ages." She shot at him.

"You look fine." Sirius rolled his eyes at her.

"You sure know how to make a girl feel special..." She muttered under her breath.

"Did you pay the rent yet?" He asked her.

"Yeah, just before the meeting." Dorcas sighed. "Apparated there, apparated here. I'm everywhere."

"This is just what I need." Lily sighed as she rubbed her eyes, beside Dorcas.

"When was the last time you slept?" James asked as he pushed the hair out of her eyes.

"It has been a while." She sighed again. Working for the Order of the Phoenix plus working 60 hour weeks at the ministry didn't exactly leave a lot of time for sleep. It seemed like they were all working that much. The Ministry was at full capacity. "Are you going to make it home tonight?" His hand rested on her cheek and she placed hers over his.

"I think so," He glanced over at Moody. "But you never know." He sighed. "Are you?"

"Yes," She smiled at him.

He glanced back at Moody, "God help me, I'll be there." Peter walked over and started chatting with them. They all turned toward the camera as Fabian ran over to beat the timer.

Currently it was the calm before the storm. As of late the Order had been holding their own, deaths, disappearances, skulls floating the sky, all had slowed down. They were winning, or so they thought, dared to hope. Little did they know that their calm was about to be shattered. Completely totally utterly shattered.

The camera clicked.

*

Lily and Violetta were meeting for coffee at a muggle coffee shop around the corner from where Lily and James were living.

"Lily," Violetta smiled warmly at the girl. "It has been too long." They kissed each other's cheek, just one, because they weren't French and they did it because they were friends.

"It has," Lily smiled as she shook out her umbrella. "Terrible weather we're having eh?"

Violetta laughed and nodded. "So how's work?"

Lily sighed. "You know... the usual." As a non member of the Order, Violetta was left in the dark on most things. When she was around no one could talk about the elephant in the room, which resulted in her not being invited to many gatherings, and when she was she could tell there was something not being said. The group rarely associated with her anymore. "What about you?"

"Bah," She waved her hand, "It is so boring. I contemplate jabbing a quill in my eye almost every day. My boss is a total git too. Rookwood? Have you heard of him? He is so sexist it is sick. It should be illegal to treat women like that."

"I know, I'm trapped behind a desk solely on the fact that I have a vagina."

"The only thing that gets me through the day is the fact that I have a total gorgeous boyfriend to go home to." Violetta laughed. "Except of late he is constantly working late. I swear to god he is trying to single handily win this war."

Lily laughed. "He is a bit of a workaholic."

"I have been taking Healer classes at night too." She blushed a bit, "You're the only one I've told."

"Wow! Good for you!" Violetta shrugged casually, but Lily could see she was really proud of herself.

"How's James doing?"

"He's good."

"And the wedding plans?"

Lily gushed. She could talk about the wedding forever. After several lengthy discussions about flowers, table center pieces and brides maids dresses ("anything but bubble gum pink please"), Violetta asked about Remus.

"Have you seen him lately? How's he doing?"

"He comes around our place every once in a while." Lily answered vaguely.

"Has he been able to find work, I have seen what that cow Umbridge is doing."

She looked up surprised. "What are you talking about?"

"You know, do you not?" Violetta side stepped.

"Know what?" Lily asked.

"About..." Violetta looked into her eyes again, squinting and searching. "Remus."

"What about Remus?" The dance continued.

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" Lily turned slightly, but still continued to search Vi's face. "How long have you known?"

"About nothing?"

"Yes."

"Since forth year."

Lily coughed. "Forth?"

"Yes, he was in my muggle studies class. I am not completely thick okay? I noticed there was a pattern to his sicknesses."

"I figured it out in fifth." The girls appraised each other for a while. After a moment Lily asked another question. "Does he know you know?"

"No. I figure if he wants to tell me he will. I am not going to lie tho..."

"What?"

"It really hurts he does not trust me enough to tell me." Violetta forced a smile. "I mean it is not like we do not know each other on a," She had the grace to blush a bit, "on a physical level. Does he know you know?"

"Yes."

A hurt look crossed Violetta's face.

"He didn't tell me though. It came out to James that I knew, and he told Remus."

Lily looked at Violetta. Violetta hadn't been asked to join the Order. Dumbledore had asked them when Mary had died what they thought about it, if they could trust her. They had, as a group, fought hard over the subject, and finally decided it would be best if she wasn't. Lily, despite her friendship with the girl, had been on the against side. As she looked at Violetta, maybe seeing her clearly for the first time, she thought maybe they had made a mistake.

*

"I can't do this anymore." Lily sighed as her and Dorcas, after working for 12 hours straight at the ministry, were now on patrol outside Rabastan Lestrange's house, a person who the ministry didn't think was a person of interest. Yeah right.

"It's true. I don't think the boys really understand that it's different for us girls. I mean, at least they get some recognition for what they're doing." Dorcas threw down the Daily Prophet where the Prewett brothers were waving their hellos as they brought it another suspected Death Eater. The thing was, all these suspected Death Eaters ended up not knowing anything and thrown in Azkaban. But that was the Auror's role, raising public moral. Moral shmal. If anything people needed to be aware, not sheltered about what was happening. This is where the ministry and the Order differed. If anyone learnt anything from what happened to Mary-

"Bingo." Dorcas whispered. They were watching the house from the small apartment across the way.

"Finally." Bellatrix and Rodolphus apparated right outside the gate to Rabastan's house. Lily's hand tightened on her wand. Just being this close to them made her skin curl.

"We should go congratulate them; I never did manage to send them that gravy boat."

"You have no idea how much I want to." Lily's eyes narrowed at the couple. "But orders are orders. Merely observe and report back." She yawned again and plopped down on the couch.

"You should get some sleep Lily," Dorcas looked slightly worried at her friend. "I think that food poisoning is still bothering you." Lily had been puking all afternoon. Dorcas had covered for her at the office, but here she could really let her get some rest.

"No, no. I'm fine."

"The bed is right there," Dorcas shook her head. "I'll wake you before the boys get here."

"That is soooo tempting." Lily yawned again, and did a poor job of trying to hide it, "however, if I go to sleep, and then somehow you also dose off, we're up the river, and stuck monitoring Bagman again." She sighed again. "What a joke that was."

"Fine, fine. Fair enough. They should be back anytime anyways." Dorcas looked back out the window. "Oooh, looks like we got a party over here." Lily got back up and walked over to the window again. "We'll no surprise there." She pulled out the notebook and wrote down Nissy and Lucy. Code names for the Malfoy's. "Looks like they're taking the safe way, for the little devil."

"Honey, I'm home." Gideon walked throw the door followed by Fabian.

"Hey guys." Dorcas didn't turn as the Prewett brothers walked in the door. Lily flashed them a smile. "We have a full house here. Malfoys just showed up."

"In a car?" Fabian sat down next to her, switching places with Lily.

"Didn't you hear? She's expecting."

"No. Way." Gideon moved over to the window.

"Yeah, apparently. She's only a couple months along." Lily made a face. "It's enough though. There should be a law against monsters reproducing. I pity that child."

"Devils spawn." Dorcas sighed. "Well, thanks boys. But I do believe you are our relief. And I am getting out of here while I still can." Lily and Dorcas grabbed their stuff and threw their empty coffee cups in the sink after washing them out. "Coffee is as old as balls. I wouldn't risk it if I was you."

"Thanks for the warning." Fabian didn't turn his head. He and Gideon were watching the window like hawks. Aurors.

"Hey Gid?" Lily paused in the doorway, Dorcas waited impatiently just outside the door.

"Yeah?" He still didn't turn his head.

"How's..."

"Yeah?" He finally turned his head slightly.

"How's Vi?"

He turned his head completely, his face slightly blank. "Your guess is as good as mine, Potter." He looked back out the window.

"It's not Potter yet, Prewett." Despite herself she smiled. "You live with the girl, please tell me what's going on with her. With you both."

"I don't know." He still wasn't looking at her. "She left."

"She left?" Dorcas came back from the hallway. "Where did she go?"

"I don't know. She left."

"I would have left too." Dorcas muttered under her breath. After a couple of minutes of very awkward silence, the two girls silently slipped out of the apartment.

"Where do you think she went?" They had apparated to London, where they walked the busy streets together. Fall was just starting full swing and leaves were turning all around them.

"Away?" Dorcas sighed. "Anywhere but here. Honestly, I can't believe how badly we handled that situation." She ran her fingers threw her hair.

"Hind sight is 20/20." Lily muttered as she pulled her coat tighter around her waist, "But you're right. We are terrible."

"I need a shower," Dorcas smelt herself as she changed the topic. "And a nice long nap. At least 12 hours."

Lily smiled weakly as she checked her watch as they walked threw a dark alley. "Well, unfortunately I'll be seeing you back at the ministry in four hours."

"Gahhhhh." Dorcas hit her head with her hand. "See you soon." They both apparated home.

*

"Can I get another double?"

Violetta was drinking away her problems. More like she was trying to drink away the memory of the last 24 hours. Or the last three years, depending how you looked at it.

"A beautiful woman like you shouldn't be drinking alone, especially in the middle of the afternoon." The bartender smiled at her and passed her another drink. Violetta finished it in one swallow. A smile formed on her lips as she looked at him. He was cute. She was on the rebound.

"Well, will you not join me then?"

He smiled again. He had one of those contagious, super cute smiles. He looked around the completely empty bar.

"Only if you don't tell anyone." She bit her lower lip as she tried not to grin back. And failed. God. This wasn't going to end well, depending on how you looked at it.

*

At the same time Violetta was taking out her heartache with a young bartender in the back office, Remus Lupin was drinking away his problems in another pub somewhere else in London. He slammed down his beer after he took the last suds from the bottle. He checked his watch again. Why did he get everywhere so early? Oh right, because he had nowhere else to go. It seemed like an eternity when James and Sirius finally walked into the pub.

"Hey mate." They slide into his table.

"Sorry, Peter couldn't make it. He had to do something or other." Sirius waved his arm in a dismissive, unconcerned way.

"How are things?" James asked. He looked very worried. Too worried for Remus' liking.

"Fine." Remus said abruptly and too quickly. James and Sirius looked at each other, and quickly at that. They were spending almost every waking moment together, their reactions were in sync. Quick to turn the topic off him, he turned to a touchier subject. "Seen Vi?"

"No." This time it was Sirius who answered too quickly. "Have you?"

"Yes, actually." James and Sirius' eyebrows rose at the same time. Remus couldn't help but smile at it.

"Really? She came by your place?" James questioned, slightly hurt. Remus wouldn't tell him or Sirius where he was currently living. They thought he was ashamed of the supposed shack he was currently renting.

"No," Remus signalled to the waitress for another drink. "She owled me, wanted to meet me." He shrugged, "I couldn't say no." He said silently, they almost didn't hear. "She was a disaster." He turned his face back towards them, "Not that I blame her."

"This wasn't our fault." Sirius leaned over the table toward Remus, pleading almost. "I feel terrible but-"

"You feel terrible?" Remus laughed without humour. "You knew that the boy she loved, that she lived with, was cheating on her with Amelia Bones, and you didn't say anything?" He shook his head. "You all knew, and didn't say anything. And you feel terrible." He threw down some money on the table. "Must be hard." He stood to walk out.

"Don't leave, we haven't seen you in ages-" James was cut off by Remus' huff.

"I'll see you later." He walked out.

As soon as Remus Lupin was outside of the pub he apparated back to his flat. If you could call it that. Sirius and James had the right idea about the state of his living conditions. When you couldn't get a job, you couldn't get money, and without any money, good luck getting a decent place. He opened the door and couldn't help but smile at his new roommate. Violetta was sitting on his bed, the only furniture in the room. In the only room. "Hey."

"Hey." She smiled back, "God, I have made some bad choices today." She laughed. "I am drunk." She laughed again. "And I bought us a house warming gift." Remus' eyes found the bottle on the only surface in the room.

"Nice purchase." He picked up the bottle of fire whiskey.

"Finish it with me?"

"Only if you tell me about these decisions."

"Only if you tell me about the last three years." She got up off the bed and grabbed two glasses from the only cupboard. She sat down next to him on the bed and held the glasses as he poured.

"You first." Remus grinned at her as he sipped his drink. It was so easy to be around people when their life was a disaster too.

"Oh-kay. Where do I start." She swished her drink around in her glass. "Well, remember this morning when I left for work?" Remus nodded and she kept going. "Well, when I got there I quit."

"What?!" She shrugged at him and sighed.

"I know right, but it was a dead end anyways." Violetta finished her drink. As Remus poured her another and let the rest of her questions slide as she continued on her story. "Then I went to Jack's."

"Jack's?"

"You know that muggle pub just around the corner?"

"Never been."

"Well it was fun." Violetta smirked. "Anyways, got drunk there. All afternoon." She sighed. "Then, clearly not satisfied with my current drunkness state, I went out and bought this lovely lady." She poured him another drink. "And then you got home. And here we are."

"Very nice," Remus smiled at her again. "That wasn't as bad as I thought. Welcome to team unemployment."

"To unemployment." Their glasses clanged together.

After they had finished a couple more drinks and the bottle was only half full, Violetta turned back to him.

"Do not think I forgot our trade." She looked at him. "Your turn to tell me what is going on."

"Er- is this necessary?"

"Fair is fair."

"Well, basically I've been living in this hole because I can't get a job."

"Why not?"

Remus just shrugged his shoulders.

"I really do not understand Remus. You were one of the smartest students in our year. You were a prefect for Christ sakes."

"It's complicated."

"Explain it to me."

"I can't."

"Can't? Or won't?"

He just stared at her, into her eyes. The laughter that had warmed their conversation only moments before was gone.

Violetta sighed. She put her hand on his forehead and moved his hair out of his eyes. "I understand secrets." She pulled her hand away quickly and wrapped both her arms around her legs. "I was with Gideon, mister hero Auror of the year."

"I'm sorry."

"No, no. It's fine." She sighed again. "I am fine. I am sorry you have not been able to get a job Remus."

"I'm sorry your boyfriend cheated on you."

"Thanks."

"You too."

"We are pathetic." Violetta moaned lightly.

"It's true."

Silence covered them, the only sound was the whiskey getting swallowed.

"Well, I'm drunk now too I think." Remus laughed several minutes later.

"You think?" Violetta laughed.

"What time is it?"

"Oh god." Violetta rolled over and tried to read the clock on the wall. "It is either... 9:30, or... 6:15. I am not sure am or pm."

"To bad we don't have a window, that would help." They laughed at Remus' joke. When they finally silenced Remus asked her a question he'd been burning to since she owled him the day before. "Vi?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Why me?"

"What?"

"Why did you pick me? Owl me? We haven't really talked for years..."

"Because, honestly... you were the only one who I figured did not know."

"What?"

"I went to Dorcas' and Sirius' place, right when I found out. And they looked at me, this way. You know? The way when people pity you? Like they feel just, so bad for you? No surprised, not shocked, but pity. I knew they knew."

"Oh."

"Did you?"

"What?"

"Know?"

"Oh. No. I didn't."

"And that is why I am here."

"I'm glad you are."

"Me too. Wish you had a slightly bigger place, maybe my own bed, a couch at least, but what can you do?"

"Har har."

This time Remus moved his hand to her face. He grabbed a piece of her hair and twirled it in his fingers. Their eyes were locked, he slowly leaned into her.

"Can I ask you something?" She whispered, her breath was hot on his face, that was how close they were.

"Anything." He breathed back.

"Remember that night..."

"Which one?" He smirked.

"Seventh year. New years."

"Ah." He moved away from her, his hand was back on his own leg.

"Yeah."

"What about it."

"Why did you leave that morning?"

"It's complicated."

"Explain it to me."

"I don't know how." Liar. All you have to say is that I'm a werewolf, it seems pretty simple.

"Try?"

Well, that wasn't an option. Lie, however, was. Or stretch the truth at least?

"Please?" She looked at him, pleading.

"I loved you."

She coughed. "What?!" She sputtered out.

"I loved you." Not quite a lie, not quite the truth.

"So you left?"

"I was scared you regretted it."

"I did not." This time she moved in. "I really did not."

"You didn't?" She didn't have to answer. It appeared as though the one bed wasn't going to be a problem tonight.

A couple hours later, Remus Lupin woke up and smiled. He wasn't leaving this time. His hand searched out for her, and what he got was a piece of parchment.

_Remus,_

_Sorry, but I have had a lifetime's share of secrets.. I am not an idiot, I can tell you are hiding something. _

_V_

"Damn."

*

"Where are you going?" James yawned as he looked at his fiancé getting dressed. "I thought you had today off." A frown quickly covered his face. "You aren't going to meet your other boyfriend are you?" He smirked at Lily as she laughed and threw a pillow at him.

"Hilarious." She muttered as she tied her shoes while sitting on the edge of the bed.

He sat up and started kissing her neck. "Come back to bed." He whispered in her ear.

"Okay." She smiled and turned her mouth towards his. "No wait, wait, wait." She gently pushed him off of her. He groaned and fell back into the bed. "I have to go, Dumbledore owled me."

"What?"

"Dumbledore owled me and I'm going to meet him with Dorcas."

"He what?"

"I'm. Going. To. Meet. Dumble-" She said slowly, making fun of him.

"I heard you the first time." He was sitting back up again and looking at her. She was careful not to make eye contact with him. "What does he want to see you about?"

"I'm not sure."

"Well maybe I better come too."

"No James. Common. I'll be fine."

James looked at her, debating. "What if he wants you to..."

"To what James?" She laughed at him.

"To do something..."

"What?"

"Dangerous."

"Are you being serious James?" She stood up and looked at him. "I'm not a baby."

"I never said that but-"

"But now, if he does want me to do something _dangerous_ you won't be there to protect me like usual huh? Well let me tell you something Potter." She poked his chest with her finger. "I can take care of myself."

"I know you can." He had grabbed her hand when she poked him, and pulled her into his chest so they were both lying on the bed. "I know I just worry is all."

"He might just want to talk about a wedding gift anyways James." She smiled as he began kissing her neck again. "You always jump to worst case." He winced.

She turned towards him and smiled at him. "I'm going. I love you." She pushed his hair out of his face. "I'll be back soon." Her grin grew bigger. "You don't have to get out of bed if you don't want to." A smile crossed his face. "I mean, I can join you when I get-" His mouth crashed onto hers.

"I'll wait."

She giggled as she apparated to Hogsmeade.

*

"Miss Evans." Dumbledore stood as she entered the Headmaster's office. "Miss. Meadowes."

"Dumbledore." They all shook hands.

"You look lovely. Have a real bride's glow to you." Lily blushed a little under his stare.

"Thank you."

"I really can hardly wait for the big day." Dumbledore smiled at her. "We need a reason to celebrate."

She nodded at him, waiting for him to continue, to get to the point.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you to come here."

Dorcas nodded this time, shifting a bit in her seat.

"I have a question for you two." He looked at them more closely. "Are you willing to do a bit of undercover work for me?"


	13. Chapter 13

* * *

Chapter 13

"_People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals a world of secrets." – Dorcas Meadowes _

"Bloody hell." Lily giggled as Dorcas tried on her new uniform. For her new job. For her new waitress undercover job. At a strip joint. "I have to wear this? I'm going to die of embarrassment."

"It looks really good." Lily giggled again. "Really shows off your, uh. Assets."

"Stop being such a little bugger." Dorcas glared at her. "I can't wait until you get yours on."

Once Lily was in her outfit, her attitude changed. "Bloody hell."

"That's what I thought."

"You go first." Lily told her after a couple of unsuccessful attempts to cover her own assets.

"What?!" Dorcas cried. "Why would I go first?"

"You look better in your get up then I bloody well do."

Dorcas scoffed at her. "Fine. I'll be the brave one and go for my job interview at the strip joint first. I mean, it's probably going to be really hard to get."

"Not with that chest."

"Laugh it up Evans. Help me with my nose." Dorcas had transfigured herself into a whole new person.

"It looks fine."

"I don't like it."

"I think it looks fine Dorcas. Or should I say Bunny."

Dorcas gagged over her new strip joint name.

"I wouldn't be talking, Red." Lily had also transfigured her own appearance, leaving everything but her hair.

"I'd take Red over Bunny any day."

"You know what?" Dorcas glared as she turned toward Lily. "That's fair enough." She sighed as she moved onto her now super long blonde hair. It was an odd change from her short bob cut. "Fine, I'll go. We can't show up together anyways. Wait for me to get back and I'll tell you how it went."

Dorcas apparated to the Double D's Cauldron with the slogan, _We'll Rub Your Wand Right_ and shook her head. God. All integrity she had gained was pretty much gone.

"I'm here about the ad." She told the bartender, who was actually pretty cute, and tried not to look around too much. "For the waitresses." She clarified.

"Yeah?" He looked her up and down. "We'll appearance wise you'd fit in. Do you have any experience?"

"Uhm, yes?"

"You sure?" He laughed at her answer.

"Yes I have experience."

"Where?"

"What?"

"Where did you work?"

"Uhm. Okay look, I've never been a waitress before, but I really need this job."

He looked at her. "Well..."

"Please?"

"Okay."

"Really?" She grinned at him.

"Yeah, I'm in a good mood today."

"Well, thank you."

"Just don't let it get around that I'm a nice guy. It'll ruin my reputation."

"Your secret is safe with me."

"When can you start?"

"As soon as possible."

"Tonight? We're pretty desperate for people right now."

"Tonight would be perfect."

Dorcas left the Dirty Double D, as she and Lily would soon call it, feeling pretty confident. On the way out she had looked more closely around. Aside from the breasts that had been everywhere, she realized why Dumbledore wanted her and Lily too get jobs there. A group of people Dorcas had the displeasure of recognizing on her way out were huddled in the corner.

"It was super easy." She sighed as she fell onto her bed. "Do you have any waitress experience? He asked me about that."

"Yeah, I do. I used to wait tables in the summer back when we were at Hogwarts."

"Really? I never knew that."

"Yeah, well." Lily shrugged. "It was just a job." She fixed her hair one last time and grinned at Dorcas. "Wish me luck!"

"Luck!"

Lily walked into the bar and towards the bar.

"Must be my lucky day." He smiled at her.

"Hi, I'm Red."

"Red?"

"Red."

"Nice to meet you, Red. I'm Ben."

"Pleasure Ben. I was wondering if you're still hiring waitresses."

"As a matter of fact, I am."

"It must be my lucky day."

"I think I already said that."

"Luck's going all over the place today." Lily smirked at him.

"You ever served before?"

"Yes, for a couple of summers when I was in school."

He looked at her and grinned. "Ever been groped and spoken to in derogatory terms for a couple of hours at a time?"

"What I do in the privacy of my bedroom is up to me."

He grinned even wider at her. "Okay, I like your attitude. You got the job. But just so you know, these guys come here so that they can treat women like shit and still have them be nice to them. Your attitude might need to be checked at the door. You okay with that?"

"I'll have to be, yeah?"

"Okay, see you tonight, 8."

"Later." She flashed him the peace sign as she left. And as she walked into a striper.

"Oh god. I'm sorry."

"Hopefully you are better with where you're walking with a tray full of drinks." Ben laughed from behind her.

"Don't worry 'bout it, sugar." The girl was about her age, and apparently from Texas. "Are yah new here?"

"Yes. First day is tonight."

"Well I'm Brenda, but around here call me anything but Dallas and I'll wind up with a stalker."

"Nice to meet you, Dallas."

Dallas raised her eyebrows at Cory form behind her. "Yah are mighty polite darling."

"Thanks. I think."

"Well, I'll see ya'll tonight then."

And then she slapped Lily's ass as Lily walked out.

*

"_I would do anything to protect her, and somehow I'm at fault? Women." –James Potter_

"WHAT are you wearing?" James spit out his coffee as Lily apparated into Dorcas and Sirius' apartment.

"What are you doing here?" She cried as she grabbed a blanket off of the couch.

"Well, after 3 hours of waiting for you!" He scoffed at her. "I decided to come hang out with Sirius for a bit." He looked closer at her. "What's happened to your face!?"

"Well I can't go in a strip club looking like myself now can I?" She cried back and him.

"Strip club?" He coughed out. "What strip club?"

"The one that Dumbledore asked me and Dorcas to work at."

"WHAT!"

"And I'm doing it." Lily said defiantly. "You can't take care of me all the time James, and this is going to help the Order."

"How?!"

Dorcas stepped in. "When I was there I saw a couple of death eaters, apparently the Double D is a bit of a hang out for them."

Lily shot him a look. "See."

"No, not really. Why you?!"

"Dorcas can't go alone, and who else would you suggest?"

"I don't know! Anyone else?!" James cried exasperated.

"James.."

"Lily! You can't seriously be considering this."

"I've already considered it. And I've already got the job as well." She looked at him as to say 'so there'.

"Lily you can't!"

"I can't!?"

"That's not what I meant."

"It's what you said!" Lily shook her head. "Look James," Her voice was calmer, more soothing. "It's not going to be that bad." She smiled at him and took his hand in hers. "I'll be safe and I'm just a waitress there anyways."

James sighed. "You're not going to change your mind anyways, are you?"

Lily shook her head.

"Stubborn..." James muttered under his breath.

"I love you." Lily smiled at him and kissed him.

"I love you too, now could you please put your face back? It feels like you're someone else." Lily smiled at him and laughed a little.

"So is that all Dumbledore wanted to talk to you about?" Sirius questioned as he cracked a butterbeer while sifting through some surveillance pictures of the Lestranges'.

"Actually..." Dorcas started.

"What?" Sirius asked still not looking up.

"He wanted me to talk to Violetta about something or other."

"Something or other?" Sirius, now looking her directly in her eyes.

"About Dolohov and other stuff."

"And other stuff?"

"Like.. how she feels about him... and.."

"And?"

"And you.."

"And me?" Sirius looked at her sceptically. "Why me?"

"Because he wants to know what she's doing, where she's been, yah-da-yah-da."

"What does that have to do with me?"

Lily and James were looking at each other awkwardly.

"Well he wants to know what her option might be on the war and that sort of thing."

"And I still don't understand what that would have to do with me."

"Well he'd like to know the terms on which you ended compared to Dolohov, how that might alter her views, that sort of thing."

"Well why wouldn't he just ask me that then?"

"Because typically when explaining how you and your many conquests have ended, you have the tendency to distort the truth so you don't appear to be the bad guy."

"Well!" Sirius stood, getting defensive. "That's not how me and Vi ended at all!"

"Well how did you end then?!" Dorcas stood, yelling back. Things had been tense with them, since James and Lily had moved in together they were stuck without roommates. Their security was a huge issue and they were stuck living with each other. Since they had both found comfort with each other after Mary's death, living with each other was a reminder of that constant hurt, self loathing and betrayal they felt after they slept together, repeatedly, after her death.

"On excellent terms!"

Dorcas scoffed at him.

"Well you'll have to forgive me if I won't take your word on that."

"It's my private life. I don't appreciate it being dug into for no reason!" But that was a lie. He saw were Dumbledore was coming from, its true Violetta would be a good asset. He knew he was fighting a losing battle.

Dorcas could smell victory, his argument was fading quickly.

"Look, I'll be completely objective."

This time it was his turn to scoff. "I'll be impressed if she even meets you. When was the last time you saw her? Months? Good luck."

*

"_Do you ever get the impression your friends only talk to you because it is of some value to them? I never did either, until now." –Violetta Roiser_

"Hey, I'm glad you came." Dorcas half rose from her seat as Violetta sat opposite of her.

"Meadowes." Violetta nodded to the waitress and signalled for a coffee, same as Dorcas. "It seemed important." She shrugged at the other girl.

"You look good." Dorcas studied the girl across from her. "Very... tanned."

Violetta laughed. "I was in Greece actually."

"Greece?" Dorcas sputtered. "You were in Greece, while we're-" She stopped abruptly.

"While you are what, Dorcas?"

The two girls stared at each other, a pregnant silence continued.

"Nothing." Dorcas placed a smile on her face about several moments. "Never mind, the reason that I wanted to talk to you is sort of sensitive."

"Go ahead."

"I need to know the story of..." She faded off.

"Of...?"

"Of that whole thing, with you..."

"Yes?"

"The whole thing with you, Sirius, Gid and most importantly, Dolohov."

Violetta raised her eyebrows.

"And I need you not to ask me why." Dorcas sipped her coffee nervously. This was risky, very risky.

"You want me to trust you?"

"Yes."

Violetta stared at her. "You want me to trust you. We haven't spoken in a very long time Dorcas." They stared at each other. After several minutes Violetta spoke again. "You have got balls, Meadowes, I will give you that."

"It's important, I can't say anything more than that."

Violetta narrowed her eyes slightly at the other girl. "Okay."

"Okay?" Dorcas sighed with relief.

"You did not think I would tell you?" Violetta asked.

"I..." She faded off again.

"You were my best friend Dorcas. I cannot believe that you..." She coughed and momentarily and hid her face for just a second and then it was composed again. She looked back up. "How long do you have?" Dorcas ordered another coffee.

*

"_You can learn a lot, just by looking at the past. Sometimes that's all it takes to bring people back together." Albus Dumbledore_

"What did she say?" Lily stood as Dorcas apparated to her flat. Lily was sitting there with James and Sirius as they poured over the Daily Prophet and other small scraps of paper, with cryptic messages.

"Well, god. I don't know where to start."

"Maybe with the beginning?" Sirius snapped at her. He had told them everything he knew, and they didn't think he was reliable enough.

"Oh-kay. Touchy." Dorcas settled down as Lily pulled out a pad of note book paper. "So Violetta and Dolohov started dating when they were in third year. She really liked him and he was very good to her. Her father was total shit and she loved how sweet and considerate Dolohov could be."

"What?! Are we talking about the same guy?" Lily cried.

"Yeah that's what I said too, but apparently... Anyways. What happened was around fifth year he turned into a real prat. Started trying to pressure her to have sex and that sort of thing. Hanging around with the older, Death Eater douchbags, especially her brother. This is when she turned to Sirius." She sent a pointed look his way. He may have left out the reason that she and him finally had hooked up. "She didn't want to lose her virginity to Dolohov that way, so she slept with Sirius instead. Apparently she wasn't the only one who lost it that night either." Another pointed look to Black. "They continued to see each other in secret and she finally fake lost it to Dolohov several months later.

"This is when everything changed. Suddenly he was sweet again, loving. She fell in love with him again. She and Sirius stayed friendly, hung around together during the summer and stuff, but then he moved out around sixth year. She continued to love Dolohov despite his continuous movement toward the Dark Arts. However, he was absent most of the time, causing her to turn to pretty much any guy that she could. This included several Quidditch players, musicians, other famous guys who ran in the same high class circle she did. Sirius wouldn't give her the time of day, since his brother had turned he wanted nothing to do with any Slytherins. He had a hard enough time when he entered Hogwarts, he didn't need anything else, which she understood and didn't hold against him. Then something happened and she finally snapped in seventh year. You all remember the whole, pregnancy thing." They all nodded. She continued. "So anyways, her brother had always been hanging around Dolohov and when the Ministry put out the warrant for Evan, she lost it. She told him that if he wanted to stay with her, he had to pick, Voldemort or her. It's clear who he picked, but it was fairly obvious that he still loved her."

James raised his eyebrows. "He still loved her but he put out the whole pregnancy thing, the rumours etc etc? I mean really?"

"I know, but that was what we saw, not what she saw. She knew him better than anyone else, she could tell. I trust her opinion. Anyways, then when Mary died," Dorcas breathed in heavily, it was still painful to talk about, "she turned to Gideon, who apparently made it clear earlier that he had feelings for her. She decided that life was too short to put off what you want. Which... it happened to all of us. Then, she walks in on Gid screwing Amelia three years later... the rest is history."

"Well." Lily sighed.

"Yes. But the thing is, you should hear her talking about him."

"Who?" Lily questioned.

"Antonio."

"What about him?" Sirius asked.

"The way Violetta talks about him, it's almost as if... maybe..."

"What?" James asked.

"As if she still loves him too."

"No way." Sirius shook his head. "You might have been friends with her for a year or two, okay? But I grew up with this girl, she's no Death Eater. You go for coffee with her once in, seriously, when was the last time you saw her? When she broke up with Gid? Ages ago? No."

"I never said she was Death Eater okay? I just think she loves one." Dorcas shot back.

"Where had she been anyways, Sirius is right. We haven't seen her in ages." James asked.

"She was in Greece." A pained expression crossed her face. "Working on her tan."

"Seriously?" Lily shook her head. "Edgar Bones and his whole family... I feel sick."

"Wait..." Sirius started.

"What?" James quizzed.

"Greece?"

"Yeah?" Dorcas confirmed.

"Her family has a house up there."

*

"_If death comes knocking on your door, there is no reason to hide, it has already found you." –Violetta Roiser_

Lily, Dorcas, James and Sirius apparated to Violetta's flat. They knocked.

"Come in."

"Are you serious?" Lily whispered. "Just walk in?"

"We could be anyone!" Sirius hissed as he pushed the door open.

"We could have been anyone!" He yelled at her as they walked in.

Violetta shrugged, rather surprised. "Hey! What are you guys doing here?"

"We. Could. Have. Been. Anyone!"

"Well, if you show up on my door I do not think me checking the peep hole is really going to help Black. What are you guys doing here? I will make some tea." She gestured them to sit on her one couch. They squished on. "Sorry, just moving in." Lily picked up the picture beside her on the table and smiled.

"I love this picture." It was the four girls sitting together in the Great Hall.

"Yeah, me too." Violetta smiled back as she handed out the tea. "So...?"

Sirius got straight to the point. "What were you doing in Greece?"

She sighed and looked at them.

"When did Mary McDonald lose her virginity?"

"What?" Sirius cried at her.

"I need to make sure you are who you say you are."

"You little-" Sirius growled.

She raised her eyebrows and waited.

He glared at her. "Night we won the Quidditch cup."

"Since you are all in the Order I can tell you this if you keep it to yourself." Their mouths gaped at her. "Yes I know, Dumbledore told me. Honestly, that was the only reason I met with you today Dorcas. It could have easily been a trap but Albus told me to go." They ogled at her. "So I was there trying to convince my mother that my views had done a complete 180. I thought I was a pretty good actress, but I guess a life time of disappointment cannot be undone by apologizing and dropping a couple M-bombs." They continued to stare. She shrugged. "Now she hates me even more and I'm pretty sure she told Evan to put in a little extra effort into my murder, but you can never be quite sure." They continued to stare.

"So you aren't a death eater?" Dorcas asked, confused.

This time it was her turn to retch. "Leave."

"What?"

"Get. Out. _Now!_"

They got up quickly and awkwardly and hurried out.

"Well, that could have gone better." Dorcas sighed.

*

"_The happiest day of my life was the day everything changed." – Lily Potter_

While the Dark Lord tried to figure out how the Order always seemed to know about his plans (mainly because of how loose lipped his Death Eaters became after a couple of drink and a couple of boob grabs), Lily stressed over wedding plans. She had taken a leave from the Ministry to be able to get everything done.

"I'm getting married today!" Lily bounded down the stairs of the Potter mansion. She and her brides maids were getting ready in the west wing, and James and the boys were in the east.

"Start my hair?" Dorcas grinned to Alice Longbottom as Lily danced around the room.

"Something wrong Alice?" Dorcas saw the worry on Alice's face. Alice made a side glance at Lily.

"Yeah, actually," She looked back to the dancing bride. "I don't want to steal Lily's thunder, but..."

"What?" Dorcas was bursting.

"I'm pregnant." She whispered.

"WHAT?!"

"What's wrong?" Lily looked over at the two other girls.

"Nothing." They said at the same time.

Lily raised her eyebrows, "Tell." They still didn't answer. "Alice?"

"It's nothing Lily."

"Tell me."

"I'd rather not."

"It's my wedding day."

"Are you really pulling this card on me?"

"Yes, and I'm not even ashamed about it like I should be."

"I'm pregnant."

"No way!"

"Yes, I know." Alice sighed. "It was all very unexpected." A guilty look crossed her face. "I'm actually 2 months along."

"WHAT?!" Dorcas re-entered the conversation.

"Yes, I know." She sighed again. "It was terrible of me, but honestly don't think I've been holding out on you. I've only just realized myself a couple of days ago. I've been so busy with the Order and Auror shifts and it just- honestly. Getting my period wasn't on my mind. Then bang, I'm walking through the department store looking for your wedding gift with Frank. You know how terrible I am at navigating that nightmare. And of course I put it all off to the last minute so were in this huge hurry. Well, one thing leads to another, we're in the toddler section and I'm counting back weeks. Total horror story."

Dorcas and Lily looked at each other. Dorcas with surprise, maybe a touch of humour. But the look on Lily's face made her frown.

"We weren't planning for it at all either. It's a complete surprise. I'm sorry Lily, I was going to tell you after the wedding I swear-" Alice was cut off.

"It's December. Oh. My. God. December 31st. Oh. MY. GOD." Lily held her hands out, throwing fingers out and the crease in her forehead was getting deeper and deeper.

"You are not serious." Dorcas' eyes were as wide as saucers.

"Food poisoning..."

"Morning sickness?"

"Oh my god." Alice whispered.

"OH MY GOD." Lily yelled.

"Sorry I am late." One look at their faces made a frown fall on hers. "What did I miss?" Violetta stood in the doorway, her bridesmaid dress in her hands.

The three other women looked at her, their mouths open wide.

"Seriously.." Violetta's eyebrows rose. "What is going on?"

"I'm..." Lily started.

"She could be." Dorcas corrected.

"She probably is..." Alice argued gently.

"I might, probably, could, be PREGNANT."

Violetta's mouth formed a perfect 'O'.

"Could be? You are not sure?"

"I haven't taken a test or anything I just-" She stopped talking as Violetta pulled a small potion bottle out of her purse and handed it to her.

"Take a test then."

While Lily was in the bathroom a rather awkward silence fell over the other women.

"You just carry one of those around in your purse at all times?" Dorcas asked.

Violetta frowned at her. "It helps to be prepared."

"I didn't think you were coming." Dorcas studied her face, waiting for a reaction. "Remus said you were but..."

Violetta raised her eyebrows at her, but was spared from replying when Lily came out of the bathroom, potion bottle in hand.

"We have to wait," checked her watch, "2 more minutes." She swallowed deeply and began pacing.

"I am sorry Lily," Lily turned to look towards Violetta, "but I am not sure I understand where all this stress is coming from. You are marrying James, who is the father of this child right? What is the problem?"

"The problem is..." Lily started in a huff. "Well, the problem is..." She turned and looked toward Dorcas, slightly confused. "I'm too young to have a baby! That's what the problem is."

"So it is sooner than expected." Violetta took the bottled from Lily and held it in her hand. "But if that is the only problem, I think this may be a slight over reaction."

"Over reaction?!" Lily stared at her in disbelief.

"Please hear me out. James has told me numerous times how badly he wants children, and I am positive he will be ecstatic when he hears the news. Why are you so upset?"

"I'm not upset." Lily defended strongly and turned to walk away. "I'm just..." She looked weakly at Alice and Dorcas as she turned back around. "This just wasn't the plan."

Violetta sighed and looked down. "Well, looks to me like you have nothing to worry about."

"What?" Lily asked, confused.

"You are not pregnant." Violetta held up the bottle. Blue, negative.

"What?" Lily whispered.

"You are not pregnant."

"Oh." Tears flooded to her eyes. "I mean," She whipped her eyes quickly. "Good."

"Oh Lily," Alice flew to her side and hugged her.

"I don't know why I'm crying. I guess I didn't know I wanted it until it could happen." Lily was laughing and crying at the same time. "Oh, this is ridiculous."

"No it is not Lily." Violetta smiled at her. "I lied." She pulled out a different bottle, bright pink. "You really are pregnant."

"Why would you do that?!" Lily looked at her, shocked.

"Because now you know you really want it."

"Risky," Dorcas shook her head.

"Mean." Lily clarified.

Violetta shrugged. "Fair is fair."

An uncomfortable silence fell over the group again.

"We didn't think you were coming." Lily asked Violetta, breaking the silence.

"It is the happiest day of one of my best friend's life." Violetta huffed slightly as she sat down in a chair and began fussing with her hair. "I was not going to miss it, no matter how mad I am."

Lily smiled and began fixing her makeup as a knock was heard on the door.

"Who is it?" Dorcas asked as she opened the door a crack.

"It's me." A deep voice rang threw the room as the door flew open.

"Sirius. You look dashing." Lily smiled at him.

"You look amazing as well, Miss. Evans. Or should I say, Mrs. Potter."

Lily giggled as she hugged him.

"I am here to walk you down the aisle."

"Slightly early I must say."

"Half an hour." His eyes fell on Violetta and then to Alice. He winked at the former and mouthed a congratulations.

"You know now?!" Alice hissed at him.

"Frank's bursting with joy." Sirius laughed. "But I thought it was a secret?"

"So did I." She sighed. "They got it out of me."

He lounged comfortably on the love seat as the girls finished getting ready.

They walked down a hallway and around a corner until they were at two double doors, leading out to the balcony.

"You happy Lily?" Sirius whispered to her as they waited for the girls to make their way down the aisle.

"I just wish my parents could be here, you know?... Mary." She smiled weakly at him. "But, I'm bursting with joy."

Alice led the way, followed by Violetta, then Dorcas. Lily's eyes found James' in an instant. Her face broke into a grin. The wedding march began and she and Sirius started their way towards James.

*

"_When things get bleak, get laid." – Dorcas Meadowes_

"Here, have some champagne!" James grinned at his wife and grabbed a glass for her.

The entire Order was there, Podmore, Shacklebolt, Diggle, Doge and Hagrid. Hestia Jones smiled with her rosie cheeks and Benji Fenwick grinned from up on stage. Him and Sirius had started a band (who knew Black could sing?), and they were going to sing the bride and grooms first dance.

"Uhm, I think I'm okay." She placed the glass discreetly on the table behind her.

"We're sitting ducks here." Moody muttered to Remus across the room.

"Moody..."

"Yeah yeah, Dumbledore's here, I still think we're vulnerable."

"If the Death Eaters are stupid enough to attack the wedding, with the whole Order here, then Merlin help them." Sirius laughed.

Gideon walked up to Violetta. "You're back."

"Yes."

"You left some stuff behind."

"Oh."

"I can drop it off."

"That would be appreciated."

Amelia was starring at them. "I better go."

"Goodbye."

"Would the bride and groom please make it to the center of the dance floor for their first dance?" Sirius asked from the stage.

James and Lily grinned at each other as they started to dance.

Dorcas and Violetta stood beside each other, champagne in hand.

"I need to get drunk mighty quick." Dorcas sighed as she finished her forth glass.

Violetta saw Gideon and Amelia dancing. She finished her glass as well. "Any available men here?" Violetta asked as she looked around.

Dorcas shrugged. "Well, actually, yes. I think Shacklebolt is a fox. And Podmore is looking pretty fine."

"Is Remus seeing anyone?"

Dorcas cocked an eyebrow at her. "Not that I know of..."

"But it is probably a bad idea."

"Very bad idea."

Violetta drained another glass. "You think she's told him yet." Dorcas followed Violetta's eyes to where James and Lily were dancing.

"I don't think so, she still looks a little stressed."

"James?" Lily asked as they danced together.

"Yes Mrs. Potter?"

She looked at him, "Nothing, never mind."

"What is it my love?" He lifted her chin so her eyes were looking into his.

"I-"

"Yes?"

"I'm pregnant."

"What?"

"I'm pregnant."

"You are!"

"Yes..."

James let out a celebratory whoop.

"We're pregnant!" He yelled to the room. Everyone around cheered.

"Definitely going home with someone tonight..." Dorcas muttered to Violetta. They chinked their glasses together.

*

"_They say there's safety in numbers, but what happens when the numbers start to dwindle?" – Peter Pettigrew_

As James and Lily got ready to leave for their honeymoon, slowly guests began to leave. As Podmore and Dorcas left together, Violetta sat down at a table with Peter, Remus and Sirius.

"Boys." She acknowledged as she grabbed another glass.

"Think you need that?" Sirius asked.

She shot him a look and sipped it. "Probably not, but..." She tapered off. "I don't really care."

Dumbledore tipped his hat and bid his goodbye. The only people left were the Longbottoms, who were slow dancing, Benji Fenwick who was playing a slow melody up on the stage with his guitar, Shacklebolt and the McKinnons.

James and Lily came out and smiled at everyone. "Just wanted to say goodbye to everyone." James shook Sirius' hand and Remus grabbed a camera. Violetta kissed Lily's cheek and smiled at her.

"You look beautiful, but I think I may be sick." She ran off to the bathroom.

"Get together." Remus waved Peter, Sirius and the happily married couple together. He snapped a picture.

"I actually don't feel that great either." Peter ran out, on his way passing Violetta making her way back.

"False alarm," she laughed and everyone hugged everyone. They walked them outside of the Church when Remus looked up. A green skull was glowering above the Church.

"RUN!"

*

"_Luck eventually runs out." – Remus Lupin_

"That's twice we've been lucky now." James was pacing the Order's meeting place. He slammed his fist on the table. "Just lucky."

If only Benji Fenwick had been that lucky.

They had only found pieces of him when they got back. The horror was... unbearable.

"I feel sick." Violetta was holding her head in her hands.

"Sober up Roiser." Sirius hissed at her.

"Look Black, I know I should not have been that drunk but-"

"But nothing. You were completely useless."

She stood and huffed out of the room.

Dumbledore said gravely. "Things are getting worse for our side, but we can't lose faith. We are fighting for the right thing, we must never forget that."

*

"_Sometimes the best thing and the safest thing are completely different. Sometimes you have to act and then deal with the consequences later." – James Potter_

"What's that?" James whispered to Lily late one night. They were in the kitchen. It was a sweltering hot as July came to an end, and as pregnant as Lily was, she couldn't sleep. James had gotten up with her to get her some tea and olives. She was having weird cravings. And she was ready to pop. She was already a week late and getting pretty grumpy.

"I didn't hear anything." She whispered back.

He grabbed his wand and threw the invisibility cloak over them after turning the kitchen light off. It only barely covered them, Lily's stomach was enormous.

A ray of light came down the hallway. Lily's hand flew to her mouth to stop the gasp from being release. A group of Death Eaters creped right past them and continued toward their bedroom.

"We have to go!" James hissed at her, grabbing her hand.

"The baby! I can't apparate!"

He looked at her and grabbed her hand, trying to make a break for the door. The floor creaked as they moved. Suddenly a red light flew right past James' head, moving his hair.

"Lily!" James yelled and grabbed her hand. He slide-along apparated her.

When they landed at Dorcas and Sirius flat, Lily grabbed her stomach. "Oh no! James!"

"I'm sorry Lily, I had to!"

"The baby is coming!" She yelled at him.

"What the hell is going on here?" Sirius stumbled out of the kitchen with Remus closely behind, fire whiskey in hand.

"Put the whiskey down Sirius! My wife is having the baby!"

Dorcas ran out, wand out. "Gakji?"

"Meadowes! Get some blankets!"

"You're having it here?" Sirius gasped.

"Where do you suggest we go Padfoot! The Death Eaters showed up at our house tonight!"

"What?!"

Lily screamed. James ran to her side, "Are you okay?!"

She grabbed him by the collar. "Get me a HEALER."

"But who?" Dorcas hissed to James. "Who can we trust?"

"Violetta. Get me Vi!" Lily cried.

"What?"

"GET HER!"

James patronus sprouted out of his wand and out the window.

Lily screamed again.

Violetta appeared a couple of minutes later, wearing her pyjamas.

"You couldn't have put some trousers on before you came?" James hissed at her.

Violetta rolled her eyes at him, "It sounded like an emergency."

Sirius and Remus were both looking at her legs.

"James get some warm water, Sirius wet some towels and Remus hand me that whiskey."

The two boys ran out and Remus handed her the whiskey confused.

"Calms the nervous." She took a swig. He raised his eyebrows at her. "It is my first delivery."

Lily screamed again.

"Great..." Dorcas muttered under her breath.

"Spread those legs Lily, give me a look."

Sirius and James walked in at the wrong angle.

"Oh Merlin." Sirius gasped and turned a little green.

"Out! GET OUT!" Lily screamed at them.

"Everyone with a penis, get out now!" Violetta yelled.

Dorcas pushed them out.

After two hours and 45 minutes and much screaming, Harry James Potter entered the world at 6:30 am on July 31st.

*

"_Just when I think I'm on a top, I wonder how I'll get back down, and then the moment is lost, I stumble and I hit the ground". – Lily Potter _

"I have reliable sources that you and your family's lives are in extreme danger." Albus Dumbledore sat across the Potters in their living room. Harry sat on his lap, playing with his bread. "You need to go into hiding and it needs to happen now."

James looked at his wife and new baby son. He nodded.

*

"_Sometimes things aren't always black and white." – Antonio Dolohov _

"Holy Merlin Dolohov you gave me a bloody heart attack." Violetta grabbed her chest and dropped her apartment keys.

He walked briskly towards her. "What are you doing back here Vi?" He bent down and picked up her keys and opened her flat's door. He walked in.

"No, please come in. I insist." She muttered as she followed him in.

"What are you doing back here? I told you to leave and never come back. You are not safe here. I can't protect you from-"

"Save it Tony. I do not need your protection or your warnings. You are not my mother."

"Your mother wants you dead."

"Well, that is a depressing thought."

"It is true and you know it. What do you have, a death wish?"

"What is it to you Dolohov?"

"I care about you."

"Oh save it."

"You need to leave Vi."

"I am not leaving."

He was too close to her. His hand was twirling his hair. "I don't know if you are brave or just stupid."

Her mind was in over load, it had been months since she had seen him. Too many memories were coming back. She swallowed and half attempted to move away. They were both too caught up in their world to hear a creaking outside the open door. His hand was on her cheek.

"Leave with me then." She whispered.

"What?" He breathed back.

"Let's go. Leave London, leave England."

"I can't... they will find me."

"Not if we are smart-"

"Violetta! You don't know these people-"

"Look Tony, I am staying. If we are leaving, it is together." He stared at her. Their bodies were even closer, her back was against the wall. "I loved you Tony, and I could love you again, if you change your priorities."

"_My_ priorities? Are you serious?"

"Okay, so I guess nothing has changed then."

"Nothing has changed. I am still as in love with you as I was when we started dating. If it's possible I love you more."

"Save it."

"I'm not willing to risk your life-"

"It is not my life you are worried about, it is your own selfish self that is worried about _you_."

"Is not."

"Is too!"

They glared at each other, Violetta couldn't help but feel they were back at age 11, arguing with each other. Then he kissed her.

She pushed him away after several minutes. "Tony... this is not going to-"

He kissed her again.

This time it was him who pulled away. He rested his forehead on hers. Her breathing was ragged.

"When do you want to leave?" He asked.

Her face broke into a grin.

After Antonio left Violetta ran around her flat, throwing pictures and clothes into her trunk. When the door creaked open she laughed. "You are fast!" She grabbed a couple more items and turned to look. Gideon was standing there, wand out.

"Where are you going?" He had a box at his feet, labelled _Violetta's_ _stuff _in very girlie writing. It bothered her that it was probably Amelia's writing, and the fact that that bothered her, bothered her more. He followed her gaze. "I brought you your stuff..." He trailed off. "Where are you going?" He repeated.

"Er- I have decided London is not really for me. I miss the heat, you know... the sun."

"And what about Dolohov?" He snarled at her.

"What?" She whispered.

"I've been here for a while Vi." His face was contorted, enraged. "I can't believe you're even thinking about-" He stopped suddenly. "You should know not to leave your door wide open in these times. At least lock it."

"A lock would not stop the people I am worried about Gid." She eyed his wand and rolled her eyes. "Well, thanks for dropping my belongings off. See you." She turned and kept on packing. He wouldn't hurt her, would he?

"You traitor." He hissed at her. She turned back around, a picture of her best friends in her hand. They waved up at her.

She sighed. "You took the best of me Gid, and tore it apart. It is up to me how I decide to fix what you broke." He raised his wand. She smiled a small side smile. "Come on now Gideon. You and I both know that you won't hurt me, not over something a little as this." Her smile changed, more kindly and sympathetic. He realized he was slightly surprised she hadn't pulled her wand on him. She must really believe that he was _good._ How unfortunate, he thought as he raised his wand a miniscule amount higher, aiming right at her heart, that she would die not the sceptical girl he had loved, but the trusting and loving women he had caused. The green flashed out of his wand, and she didn't even have time to replace her smile with fear. The glass of the picture shattered.

And as he turned and to apparated he swore he saw a black cloak appear in the door way, but he must just be paranoid. Killing an innocent person can do that to you.

He landed at the flat him and his brother were sharing. Fabian looked up at him and his brow creased.

"You okay mate?"

Gideon stared at him. What had he done? Why had he done that? What the _fuck_ was he thinking? He ran to the bathroom and puked.

Fabian followed him, "What's wrong Gid?"

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

"What?"

"I have royally fucked up Fabian."

A loud bang erupted from behind them.

"How the fuck did they find us?" Fabian drew his wand and Gideon shakily stood.

"I'm sorry Fabian."

Fabian sent his brother a confused look as they ran to face the five death eaters that had broken into their flat. In the end it was Antonio who ended Gideon's life after he forced him watch Fabian die.

"Fair is fair." Dolohov stood over his body and spit on it.

*** **

"_I've learnt a couple of things on this side of the fence, one of them is a clean sweep is best. Don't leave anyone to go crazy trying to get revenge." – Peter Pettigrew _

"Caradoc Dearborn is missing." Alastor Moody looked grimly around the table.

"Not him too."

Dorcas fell into Sirius' shoulder. When would it end? Would it ever end? The Order's numbers were dwindling. How were they going to fight a faceless foe? No one could be trusted outside of the Order and even then...

"And the McKinnons."

McGonagall gasped beside them. "Which ones?"

"All of them."

*

"_Yeah I've got problems, who doesn't? But I've also got the bottom of a bottle to help me forget." – Dorcas Meadowes_

Dorcas was drunk again. She always seemed to be drunk. Luckily for her it only made her _better_. A better fighter, a better dueller. Maybe she was more reckless, maybe that was what helped her be the _best._ Liquid courage. She laughed to herself. She didn't need liquid courage. When you have nothing to live for, death just doesn't seem so horrible. And plus, liquid courage wasn't cutting it these days, she was opting for the harder, more illegal stuff.

Maybe that is why she let herself walk down the dark ally.

And maybe that is why she wasn't surprised when she heard a bloody curling laugh behind her.

She turned on her heels, high as they were, to look at who dared to challenge her, on her turf. Dark alleys where practically her stomping grounds. She had killed five Death Eaters in dark alleys. Prisoners were overrated. If they had something to offer they would do it when she asked. When she smiled her sick, dark smile with her blood red lipstick. She couldn't think of a higher motivation then her wand in their back and her high heel in their foot.

For half a second she was surprised that they weren't wearing masks. Twelve wands were pointed at her and she couldn't help that she was slightly thrilled. If she was honest with herself it made her feel a little sick.

"Boys..." She smiled. "brought the cavalry I see?"

"Rookwood... can't say I'm too surprised." Her eyes feel on a younger member and she turned slightly green. "Peter? No..."

He grinned at her. "Yes it's me."

"This is going to kill your mother you know."

"Don't talk about my mother! _Cruico!"_

"That's enough, Peter." The crowd parted and Dorcas Meadowes realized why none of them were wearing masks.

Voldemort was standing in front of her. She smiled a little. "Is it wrong that I'm flattered, Tom?"

All she saw was the green.

*

"_Things never look worse than the day you realize you're the last one left..." – Lily Potter_

"Dorcas Meadowes death is coming to a shock to all of us."

A sniffle came from the back of the room, and Alice Longbottom slipped quietly out the back.

"Who?" Sirius asked in a whisper.

"The rumour is that it was Voldemort himself."

A gasp entered the room.

"Security needs to be tighter than ever. _Constant vigilance._"

*

"_And at the end, all I knew was I wanted to kill the son of a bitch that did that to my brother." –Sirius Black_

And Lily and James were safely hidden away. Or so they believe. Halloween was just around the corner...

When the end did come for Lily and James, each died with comforting knowledge, that they would be together forever.

And Lily couldn't help but smile as she saw her friends waiting for her.

* * *

Fin

**So I'm not sure about this, I might change it around... What do you guys think? Thanks for reading and reviewing.**


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